Glass Hearts

Chapter 17:

This chapter is dedicated to 5soso2lfangirl because she always comments on my stories and it makes me really happy:) <3

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Chapter 17:

"NO!!" I shrieked, sitting up in a fit of sobs. "MICHAEL!!!"

I felt so small, so helpless. I couldn't do anything else but just sit here and scream.

But screaming isn't making the pain go away.

"MAKE IT STOP!" I breathed, tugging on my hair. I curled up, clutching my stomach and trying to catch my breath. I felt sick, I felt weak, I felt...

Shattered.

"Ashton?!" Luke called

I didn't know what else to say, all I could do was keep screaming until everyone ran in.

"ASHTON!?" They grabbed me, I could feel their hands trying to hold me down as I thrashed and screamed.

"Come on Ash, it's okay, you're okay." Calum said soothingly, a hint of panic in his voice.

"He's dead!" I cried, Hannah sat next to me, stroking my hair. The thrashing stopped, and now all I could do was cry.

"Honey, he's been dead." Analiya said softly

"He killed himself!" They all stopped, Calum shook his head and I could hear him whisper the word "therapy" to Luke.

"No! I watched it happen Calum!" My throat was raw, the hurt in his eyes growing more by the minute. "He's been showing me things! I saw his mother beat him, I saw us. I saw the time we had to help him because of what his mom said! I saw him put the gun to his head Calum!" He looked away hurt. "And it's okay if you don't believe me, but please don't think I'm crazy."

Calum looked away, crying quietly, he tried to be sneaky about it, but he couldn't.

And Luke? He didn't say anything, he just continued to rub my back as I cried.

"I believe you." Analiya choked "Stuff like that happens right? Obviously Michael wanted you to see what happened."

I couldn't get the image out of my head, Michael laying on the ground, blood covering the side of his head with a puddle laying where he was. He didn't do anything, he died instantly.

My baby was gone.

He took his own life because he couldn't handle the fact that there were people out there who didn't love him and respect him the way we did.

I started crying harder, I tried to scream, but they came out more as strangled noises.

"He's dead." I croaked

"He's dead."

"HE'S DEAD!" I shrieked, no matter how much it hurt.

I was so angry.

He wanted to protect me, so why did he do it?

Why did he put me through so much pain like that?

" I HATE HIM!" I kicked the bed, clutching onto the pillow.

"Ashton!"

I didn't realize what I said until Luke started to cry, which led to me crying harder.

And harder.

"I didn't mean it."

"We know, it's okay." Hannah said softly

But that's the thing.

It's not okay.

None of this was okay.

***

The four of them stayed with me the rest of the night, I told them they could take the bed, but they ended up all sleeping on the floor. Until I started crying again and they ended up pulling me down there with them so they could keep a better eye on me.

Today has been pretty rough. Calum hasn't said a word to me, Analiya has been with him the majority of the day and Luke and Hannah wouldn't let me leave their sight.

"Why are you ignoring him!? Obviously there's something wrong Calum!" I could hear Luke yell, I was sitting in my room with Hannah around 6:30, she was trying to make me happy: whether it was by talking about music or telling me funny stories. I appreciated it, but it wasn't really working.

"Because I don't want to accept the fact that Michael killed himself! And that he showed Ashton and not one of us!"

"I don't understand."

"He showed me stuff too okay!?" I could hear something crash to the ground, Hannah looked at me, worried but I begged her to stay. "I didn't want to say anything about it. But he showed me stuff from before you and I were friends. I believe him I just-"

"If you saw him too then why did you call him crazy!?!"

"I never called him crazy!"

"Not to his face!"

"Shut up Luke."

"No! If you saw what he did, then why did you call him crazy and why did you make him go to therapy!?"

"BECAUSE I LEARNED TO LET GO, LUKE."

No response

"AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF WITHOUT BRINGING EVERYONE ELSE DOWN."

Still no response.

"You know, why are you even defending him, isn't he supposed to be looking after us!? If he really gave a damn then he wouldn't be-"

And then there was a slam, and Calum started yelling more. I pushed Hannah away and opened up the door, Calum was on the ground and Luke was slamming the front door closed.

"What the hell happened!?" Hannah came out behind me.

"He hit me!!" He said, holding his face.

"WELL YOU DESERVED IT CALUM!" Analiya said, kicking his calf hard enough for him to react. "We ALL heard what you said!"

"I'm sorry I-"

"Hannah, stay here with Calum, come on Ashton we're going after Luke." Analiya was pissed, her hands were shaking and she was trying so hard not to cry. Hannah didn't say anything else, she just let Analiya grab my hand and pull me out the door.