A Deadly Love- Book Two

Ch. 30- Back to New

"You are pressing against me like I press flowers against the pages in my book. You are kissing my neck and it feels like the start of forever. I want to touch you until my palms burn."

***

My eyes burned as I opened them. It felt as if I was crying, but I don't know what. The first thing I saw was Sebastian, his face full of worry and relief. I managed to squeeze his hand and smiled. "I hope you forgive me." I whispered.

His head lowered into my stomach, his hair falling. "Thank god." he said.

I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to touch every inch of him because I haven't felt it in such a long time. The curse did that to me. I didn't let me feel any emotions. But now I'm back. And so is everything that I once felt towards Sebastian. And everything that I feel, the pain of the death of my parents and Christian, and the guilt of what did.

I sat up, straightening so I could face him. He lifted his head again, looking into my eyes as if it were the first time he ever saw me. "Do you forgive me?" I asked, my voice now above a whisper.

"Let's not talk about this now." he said. "I want to make sure you are fully cured."

I sighed. "So that's a no. You don't forgive me."

"I can't just do it off the bat, Elora." he argued. "It takes time."

I only nodded my head, not saying anything. After a minute of silence, I said, "Thank you."

He raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

"Not giving up on me. I hurt you badly and you still didn't give up. And for that, I wanted to thank you."

He smiled. "I would never give up on the girl that never gave up on me."

"I've got a lot of apologizing to do, don't I?" I questioned. It was true, I did. I was a horrible person and I wouldn't expect my loved ones to forgive me. All the things I said to them, they might as well kill me.

"Indeed."

"Great, who should I start with?" I crossed my arms.

"Considering you did the most damage to my sister, I think you should do her first," he told me. "But I wouldn't do it right now, darling. I don't think they want to see you just yet."

"What I supposed to do, hide out here until they do want to see me?"

"No, I'm holding you hostage. I just think that you should take it easy before you visit them."

"Fine," I said bitterly. "Ony for today."

"Great."

"Do you need to do King duties, or are you going to watch me the whole day?"

He smiled once again and I swear that my heart fluttered in my chest. "There's the Elora I love."

"Bite me."

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you want me to bite you?"

"Do I need to answer that question, Sebastian?"

Sebastian laughed. "Always a dear with you." But then he stood up from where he was sitting on the bed. And I watched as he trudged toward the bedroom door. Then he stopped and turned around. "Let me have a week. A week of whether or not I forgive you. Then I will decide."

"It's all yours."

He smiled once more, turned around again, and walked out of his bedroom – closing the door behind him.

**

I thought that being emotionless was a good thing. But in fact, it wasn't. I was numb to every single feeling I experienced, every time I killed, I didn't feel it. It was as if my whole body was frozen in the snow, my emotions not escaping. I murdered so many and I would have killed more if it weren't for the people that I love. But they are angry at me, for what I've done and said to them.

I remember everything I did. And I wish I forgot it. Maybe then, I wouldn't have the words I said in my mind every second of the hour. Or the fact that sometimes I wish my life wasn't like this. That I wish I was back in high school; the only worry is tutoring Jackson so he can graduate. But that's all over now.

My hands are filled with blood and I don't think I will ever be clean of it. No, it's never going to be clean. And I don't think I will ever accept. I used to be good, but now I will forever be remembered as the girl that reign terror across the states by killing vampires in her wake.

Despite my hanging out in Sebastian's bedroom for the whole day, a maid came by to give me a pitcher of blood and a glass. As she carried the tray and placed it on the desk next to the bed, I could tell that she was terrified of me.

She glared at me over her shoulder before darting out of the room again, closing the door behind her. I let out a sigh, almost expecting it from them. But then I poured myself a glass and started drinking. It was human, thank god, and I gulped it down within seconds. I was glad it was human blood because it tasted better than a vampire. This was like water to humans and I hadn't had it in a long time. So, I poured myself another.

I finished the pitcher of blood in minutes, not having a care in the world. I missed the taste of it. After I was done, I plopped myself on Sebastian's bed and put my arms behind my head. It smelt like him and I wish he were here with me right now. But even him has not forgiven me yet.

As I looked up at the ceiling, bored out of my mind, I closed my eyes so I can try to sleep. But all I saw was the bodies of the vampires that I murdered in cold blood. Their heads on the other side of the room. I felt my heart beat fast that it was hard to control my breathing.

I opened my eyes again and placed a hand on my chest, inhaling and exhaling so I could regain my normal heart rate. I guess this will take a long time to get over, I thought.

I was back to new, but I will be forever changed. 

***