(A/N) I'm SOOOOOOO sorry I haven't updated for awhile! I've been preoccupied and at my grandparents house so I kinda through this together last night. Sorrysorrysorry!!
Chapter Status: Not Edited
Oslo's POV
My happiness was so short lived. Now I'm just tired. Tired of everything. I want to lock everyone out of my hospital room and be alone.
I'm not worth anything. I don't understand why Iceland would ever remotely care about me. I'm a fatass, and no boy likes a depressed girl. I still love him, though.
I stalk to the opposite side of the room and lock the door. I don't want nurses coming to checkup on me. I'm not going to do anything, but I just want to lie in my bed and wallow in self hatred and loneliness.
And just like that, the girl who was always hungry lost her appetite.
My chubby fingers drift up towards my collarbones. I can feel them prominently, but when I look in the mirror I can't see even a ghost of a bone. My hand falls to my abdomen. I count my ribs. All I ever feel is huge. My fingers gently stroke my hipbones. I only wish I could see them. Finally, I slap my thigh.
It jiggles.
My deepest resentment lies in my thighs. They no longer touch, thank god, but that's only thanks to wide hips. My thighs are the most ginormous part of me. They're like tree trunks, breaking under the pressure of the rest of my obese frame. I can put my hands around them, and my fingers touch, but I only see rolling mountains of fat when I glance at them. My thighs. Oh, how I so deeply and passionately loathe them.
-flashback-
I plopped down at my lunch table. I always sat at the corner lunch table, right next to the girls restroom. Poland sat at the far left end, and I sat directly across from him. Everyday.
Grade six. Whoopee. I'm so excited for secondary school. Note the sarcasm, if you will.
Poland and I had our usual lunch time conversations.
"Are you free this weekend?"
"Totally, girl!"
"We should see that new movie."
All was how it usually was. I held my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which Poland so kindly offered to me everyday. He started packing them extra with me in mind once he was aware of my situation.
Then a girl walked by. She was as attractive as a sixth grader could be. She had long, slender limbs. Naturally, the girl was the very most popular girl in our year, with her perfectly long, straight and full hair.
She snickered. Nothing new, but what she said has stuck with me through the years.
"Thunder thighs, much?"
-flashback over-
That has always been the root of my despair. Not that nobody has stayed with me besides Poland, not my dead uncle (A/N I'll explain at the end), not even that I was a product of rape. That one frivolous comment. That rude, meaningless jeer at my thighs caused this.
You could say that since then, I've fallen in love with anything self destructive.
Belarus POV
"Russia! Russia!" I shriek through the locked door.
Whimpers drift through to me. What a lovely boost to my self esteem.
"We can become one!!" I testify.
The old, wooden door looms before me, locked as ever. Marks from previous times I've scratched it up scar the door prominently. Ah, memories.
-time skip-
I lounge in the meadow, lazily weaving a daisy chain.
Perhaps, I could hang Iceland from a daisy chain... That would make Oslo quite the troubled soul. However, I've been planning something already, so I should first go through with that.
My most recent target has been Poland. I have a date set, and I even have a strategy for luring Poland to the perfect place. All I need to decide is how to slaughter him.
I want it to be meaningful, so it couldn't be anything like stabbing, poison or shooting. I was thinking it might be fun to cut him up until he bleeds to death. Not chop him into pieces, but like how Oslo inflicts pain on herself. That way, she can see how she hurts others with what she does.
However, I could also burn him to death. It would be quite ironic. I know that Oslo has always seen Poland as a sort of Phoenix. She sees him as the type of person who, whenever the feel sorrow, the rise out, like the said Pheonix.
(A/N) Explanation • basically, I decided it didn't make sense how Oslo had a brother, because her mom never had two children. I decided, that because in the flashback London had a brother, he would have been murdered and it makes more sense. I'll address it and edit when I finish the book. I'll revise then. :3
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Sleep (APH Nordic Fanfic)
FanfictionI loved him, and he loved me. But you can only love someone if you still have yourself. They might tell you they lost me, but really, I lost all of them. I do not own Hetalia, nor do I own any lyrics referenced in this book. There is a rewritten ver...
