"Fireproof" - One Direction
"I Feel It Coming" - The Weeknd
Am I really going to let myself fall into my old ways? Is it what I really want or am I just lost in the moment? It's hard to tell when Harry's soft lips are moving against mine.
"I've missed you." He mumbles. "Missed this."
"Me too," I say. More than anything. I grab onto his shoulders and give him a gentle push. I need to set up and not have his mouth on mine in order to think correctly.
He moves back and sets on the very edge of my bed, and I lean up into a setting position with my lower half still beneath my cover. Neither of us says anything. What would someone even say in our situation?
"Are you ready to jump back into this?" I ask after a few minutes, no longer able to bare the silence. "The hiding, the lying, the secrets? The guilt?"
"I would put up with all of it for you." He answers quickly.
His answer makes my heart speed up. It means he still loves me.
"Are you ready, though? You're more high profile now with your movie being out. Paparazzi and everyone else will be trying to get pictures of you. We would have to be far more careful."
I don't know if I'm ready. I don't know if I can handle it. I don't know if I can go another minute without touching him. I lean into him and tug at his shirt until he's close enough to kiss. His mouth connects with mine like a missing puzzle piece. I don't need to say it for him to know what I want. He's always been able to read me so easily.
Harry pushes the blanket to the end of the bed and pulls me on top of him, my legs on either side of his slim hips. I carefully pull his shirt off and let the straps of my nightie fall down my shoulders. His green eyes burn into mine, telling me everything that he's feeling. He needs me tonight just as much as I need him.
"Are you ready?" He asks again.
"Just let it go and kiss me." I whisper. "We'll save the talking for later."
He nods and brings his lips back to mine, trailing down my jawline, neck and collarbone. Our clothes decorate the floor more with each passing minute. Now, his hard naked body is pressing me into the mattress, and I can't control my breathing. We melt into each other like we've never been apart. It's like the we are picking up right where we left off.
I moan as he enters me, stretching me in the best way and filling me with everything he has. The next few minutes are filled with heavy breaths, deep grunts, and struggled moans between us. It's been too long since his strong arms have held me, since he's buried his face in the crook of my neck while he thrusts in and out of me. He kisses me everywhere, caresses my body, and doesn't leave any place unattended to.
Harry has turned my bedroom into a pleasure filled oasis, and I never want to leave. If we could just stay right here forever in our own little world. Stay here where we're shielded from everyone's judgments and opinions.
"It's like you were made just for me." Harry says against my mouth.
"Maybe I was," I answer, clawing at his back.
His thrusts become harder, faster, hitting just the right spot. My legs begin to tremble, my mouth hungry for his. I'm being taken over by him, consumed in the best way. He's all I can think of, all I can feel, all I can taste. Thoughts of being with anyone else dissipate into thin air. I need Harry like I need air to breathe.
Is he feeling the same way?
The sweetness that shows through his rough movements makes me think he does. It makes my heart swell, my chest burn, my insides clench. I thought I could live without his touch but I can't, and I don't want to.
It's all too much to handle when his burning green eyes lock with mine. His plump, reddened lips. His heavy breathing. His flushed skin. His pulsing length inside me. I clench around him, throwing my head back in what must be pure ecstasy. Wave after wave of pleasure roll through me, so much so that my vision goes black. I must be screaming as I feel Harry's hand clamped over my mouth. He stiffens atop me, cursing, moaning my name, and burying his head in the crook of my neck to drown out the loudness.
Harry holds my trembling body tightly in his arms, pulling us into an upright position with me on his lap. He's still inside me as I'm trying to catch my breath. His hands rub up and down my back, run through my long, tangled hair, and he kisses my temple. We stay this way for a long time, neither of us wanting to move.
Eventually, he lifts me off him and moves to pull his clothes back on. The coldness doesn't enter me upon our separation like it used to. The sickening guilt doesn't creep into my mind and tighten my chest. My heart and entire body is consumed by love, lust, adoration, and satisfaction. Maybe our time apart and my time alone in New York had taught me a lesson. Love is Love. But along with all those warm feelings, fear had somehow crept into me.
I'm scared that we won't be able to be together, scared that an outside force is going to pull us apart. I'm scared of what tomorrow will bring when we actually have to talk. Scared of what Harry feels about us, even though his actions already told me. He's fully dressed again and sits on the edge of the bed where I'm still naked beneath the blankets. We stare at each other in silence. Unsaid words bounce between us, things that want to be said but neither of us are willing to say at the moment.
I love you, I want to say, but I don't.
"Until next time, little sister." Harry says, and I watch him leave my bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
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TABOO
Fanfiction"Harry, we shouldn't be doing this. It's so. . . taboo." Stella has always hated her adopted brother Harry and couldn't contain her excitement when he left for college. Now, six years later, he's back and to say that he's changed is the understateme...
