TABOO

Four.

"Dirty Little Secret" - The All American Rejects

Three days have passed since Harry and I got carried away in my bedroom. I can't bare to look at him, so I've been staying at Jade's house, using the excuse that my dad and I weren't getting along. I hate lying to my best friend but I can't tell her, or anyone, what happened.

It's seven in the evening on a Tuesday, and Wyatt keeps calling me over and over again. Jade says I shouldn't answer it under any circumstances, and I halfway agree with her. Maybe if I start talking to Wyatt again, it would get Harry out of my mind, though. Who knows? I push ignore and take a few more bites of my ice cream sundae. Ten minutes later, my mom calls and says she needs me to come home. She says it's important.

I pack up my belongings, thank Jade for letting me stay, and start the short drive towards my house. I talk myself up mentally, telling myself I'll be strong enough to face Harry, strong enough to act like nothing happened.

When I walk inside, Mom, Dad, Harry, and even Kate are sitting in the front room. Apparently, she didn't go back home yet. I keep my gaze away from Harry and try to pretend he's not even there. It doesn't work. Flashes of us making out and him having his fingers deep inside me fill my mind, already making me hot. I steal a glance at him, and it's clear that he can tell and that he's feeling it too. I drop my duffle bag onto the the floor and perch myself on the arm rest of the love seat where Kate and Mom sit.

"You've been distant lately, staying in your room a lot or staying at Jade's." My mom starts. "It isn't just you, though, we've all been distant for the last couple of months. We're a family, but it's like we never get to spend time as one. Your dad is always working, and I'm always all the way across the world doing photography for my projects. And Harry just got home from being away for six years."

"So you made me come home so you can tell me that were not a close knit family?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.

"No, she asked you to come home so you can have some input on our vacation destination. We're all going to go on a family vacation together. We need it." Dad explains.

No, no, no!

"I can't just get up and leave. I have my summer college courses to work on. I have projects with deadlines and lots of reading to get done." I say as an excuse.

"A one week break from college work isn't going to kill you. Anyways, you've always loved going on family vacations." Mom argues.

"I was thinking Bali or Bora Bora." Harry adds. "Mom said Hawaii. Dad and Kate both think we should go to the Bahamas. What do think, little sister?"

My heart skips a beat when he calls me that because he's said it both times after we've done something together, something we shouldn't have. The grin on his face tells me he knows what he's doing.

We discuss things for a little while more before agreeing on my suggestion. We'll be staying at Steve's massive beach house in the Caribbean. He's a friend of Dad's and said we could use his beach house anytime. I dismiss myself from the living room, exhausted from how much work it is to suppress the lust that wants to take me over every time I'm near Harry.

After a long shower, a change into my pajamas, and three episodes of Supernatural, I'm laying in my bed and trying unsuccessfully to sleep. There's too much on my mind, too much stress, too many suppressed feelings for anything close to relaxation.

I'm half asleep when a thread of light floods into my bedroom, and Harry walks inside. He closes the door behind him, and I see him walk over to me through barely open eyes. He sits down next to me, and skims his hand down my arm.

"Not again, Harry. Not tonight." But maybe another time, my subconscious adds.

No.

"You loved it the other night, I know you did." Harry argues.

"Fine, Harry. You're right, okay?" I say, not budging from my comfortable position under my covers. "I liked it, but it doesn't mean it's right."

"Why do you avoid me afterwards?"

Maybe if I'm honest with him, he'll understand why we can't keep doing what we did.

"Because I can't bare to look at you without getting weighed down with guilt and disgust towards myself. Seeing you reminds me of the urges I gave into, reminds me of how I wasn't strong enough to resist what I knew was wrong. I can't be near you without wanting what happened to happen again." I explain. I twist under my covers so that I'm facing away from him.

"I don't want you to feel that way; it wasn't my intention."

"Then, are you just playing sick games to mess with my mind? Trying to make me crazy?"

"No, no, of course not." Harry says. "After being gone for six years, I don't see you the same way as I did before. You're not the annoying girl who was always on my case about something anymore. I find myself lusting after you. I can't help the fact that you turn me on."

What he's saying rings a bell in my mind. I find myself lusting after him, too, and as much as I try to suppress it, he turns me on. Just like I'm no longer the annoying, nagging girl from before, he's no longer the annoying, gangly looking boy that my parents adopted from England. It's like he's a totally different person.

"If anyone found out about this-" I start before Harry cuts me off.

"No one will find out."

My heart skips a beat as an image of Harry and I kissing flashes in my mind, even though I should be disgusted. I try my best to come up with excuses to why we can't repeat our actions. My breathing hitches in my throat, and I hold my breath as I try to push away all the urges that flood me.

Harry leans down close. "If you stop pushing away the lust you have for me, it will be easier. Let go of the guilt and give in to what you really want." He whispers.

I can barely breathe, and I stay still and silent. Harry's about to break down my resistance, and I can't use drinking wine as an excuse this time.

"We'll find time to have some more fun on vacation next week, little sister. It will be our dirty little secret." He whispers.

The next couple of minutes seem to stretch on forever. My dark bedroom is filled only with the sounds of Harry and I's breathing, mine heavy and his slow and steady.

"Okay," I breath out.

((What do you think will happen while they're on vacation? Let me know in the comments. Also...

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