Redemption / DRAMIONE (COMPLETE)

Chapter Thirteen

"Miss Granger."

Professor Snape's voice eventually brought her back to her senses. She was slumped in a comfortable armchair, one seemingly conjured out of thin air by the Potions Master when she had fainted. The man himself stood in front of her, arms crossed in a strangely casual way, his eyes tired and weary.

"You_ you traitor!" Hermione managed at last. Snape merely looked bored. He went over to a cabinet and helped himself to a vial of dark liquid. She noticed now, for the first time ever, that his hands shook and the shaking only abated when he downed the potion. She must have looked curious for he suddenly spoke in answer to her unasked question.

"For nerve damage," he said quietly, before Vanishing the vial.

"Does Professor Dumbledore know?" She exclaimed.

Snape nodded almost imperceptibly. "I turned spy for him fifteen years ago."

Hermione's eyes widened. "When the Chosen One was born," she guessed.

Snape nodded again, and then decided to come out with it. "What I'm about to tell you, only a handful of people know. You cannot tell anyone. Least of all Potter."

Hermione didn't know why, but she felt she had to trust him. "Of course."

"I attended Hogwarts in the 1970s." Hermione blinked in surprise; he was really that young? His face looked so aged. "Two years before I arrived, I met a pretty Muggleborn witch. Her name: Lily Evans." Hermione gasped. "She took pity on me. I loved her, from the moment I first saw her." His tone was wistful. "You could say we were soulmates; we knew what the other was thinking at all times. I hoped she would join me in Slytherin. She went, instead, to Gryffindor. We were both bullied and teased by each other's houses. I protected her from my house, but she couldn't protect me from hers.

"Four Gryffindors in my year took special pleasure in being my tormentors. Their names were James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Pettigrew was a snivelling wreck and I was all too pleased when I heard he had been blown up by Black. I could have happily strangled him when I found out he was Voldemort's spy in the Order. But I was forced to play my part, smiling and congratulating that disgrace of a wizard." He sounded incredibly bitter and Hermione felt like edging away. "Remus Lupin was merely afraid. I understood his need for friends; I felt the same in my solitary time at Hogwarts. We have made peace.

"Sirius Black, I have never forgiven. What he said two years ago, about luring me to the Shrieking Shack, wasn't true, but only because Lupin doesn't know the truth. Potter didn't get me out in time. However, I wasn't cursed. It is only a werewolf's bite that transforms another. Lupin, as a werewolf, struck me several times. I lay dazed, on the floor of the shack. He raised his claws and scratched me. I was powerless, half-dead and scarred for life. It was only then that Potter arrived. He managed to defeat Lupin and dragged me, bleeding profusely, along the tunnel and up to the castle. I've been left with the scars. Potter and Black also set upon me the next year, when I was with Lily. They cursed me with my own spell, and Stunned Lily. They never regretted what they did, either.

"After all I went through at Hogwarts, I chose what I believed to be the winning side. Dumbledore had forsaken me, and the Death Eaters far outnumbered the Order of the Phoenix. I swore my allegiance to Voldemort. But, in 1980, I overheard a prophecy. It referred to a boy, born at the end of July." Hermione's eyes grew large. "I repeated this prophecy to Voldemort. It was either Longbottom or Potter, although I didn't know that at the time. Very soon, I told Dumbledore. I changed sides and I have been on the side of the light ever since."

He looked at her in the near-darkness of the room.

"You are remarkably quiet for once, Miss Granger," he said scathingly. "No typical Gryffindor comment?"

"I was simply thinking what a brave man you are," Hermione replied quiet, looking at him thoughtfully. "The nerve potion is your own creation; it's in the Potioneer's Journal."

"Yes, it is," answered Snape, black eyes glittering.

"You patented a potion that you created for your own use so that victims of the Cruciatus Curse could live a normal life? What did Voldemort do?" Hermione inquired, worriedly.

"I told him that Dumbledore ordered me to make it for St. Mungo's. He never asked whether I used it myself, and I never told him," replied Snape.

"But, aren't there fatal side-effects of the Cruciatus?" Hermione asked.

Severus considered her seriously. "There is lunacy with prolonged exposure over a small amount of time. But there is also damage to the nerves over a long period of time. There will be a time when I can no longer brew potions or get spells on target. It is only a matter of time."

"You said," Hermione spoke, her voice quivering, "that you could teach us how to even put a stopper in death. How is that true if you can't heal yourself?"

"There are things, even in this world, Miss Granger, which are impossible. I meant that I could make antidotes to fatal poisons or heal the wounded. These scars run too deep. They are ingrained in me. And I would never get rid of these scars for the world. They are part of me, part of my story. And that is what Potter must learn to understand: there would always be one boy walking around with a lightning bolt on his forehead. But because it is him, he has to do something about it. And there will be a story that comes with that scar. Like every story with every one of mine. I am doomed, Miss Granger. My end is near. But Potter has a way to go yet. He is the one to finish this. Do not let him give up."

Hermione retreated slowly, but not before hearing his final words.

"For I will never give up on him."

*****

A.N. 

Aw. A nice, cheesy last line. 

The bit about the Cruciatus affecting your nerves over a long period of time and causing your hands to shake is mostly my own imagination. 

Most of what I've just written comes into my other fanfics, like Always, so, READ THEM. 

Thank you.