Wheelchair (polysanders)

Love Clouded Thoughts

a/n I'm listening to a playlist of Slowtown by Twenty One Pilots, Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) by Fall Out Boy, Be Calm by fun., and In The Middle by Dodie Clark. It's the weirdest fucking thing, but I love it.

[Logan's pov]

Do I....do I love him? Maybe I do. No, I don't. Or do I? I might. I can't love him, I just met him. This is stupid to be thinking, what's wrong with me? Oh look we're pulling up to the school now. Just focus on school and don't think about it. Everything will be fine.

-Time Skip-

"So when you're simplifying this type of problem, you have to blah blah blah" The teacher droned.

I do experience the things dad described. Does that mean I love Patton? I think I love him. I don't even know what love is. Two months ago, I didn't even have any friends and I'm already falling in love. Before Patton, I didn't even know my sexuality. Ugh, I should just focus on....stuff I already know. I guess a little refresher never hurt anyone. Anything is better than thinking about...the l-word.

-Time Skip-

"So when I did blah blah, Carmen said blah blah and blah blah" Roman spoke about his day. I couldn't pay attention to what he was saying. So I payed attention to Patton instead.

The way he got tense when Roman described a suspenseful event. Or when he got excited when something good happened. I found it adorable how invested he would get in these stories Roman told. Wait, adorable? I think he's adorable. But in a platonic way or a romantic way? Ugh, love is so hard. Maybe, just maybe I should ask Patton.

-Time Skip + Location change to. . .Roman's house-

We were doing homework. The other two had gone to "get snacks", they were probably cuddling or something like that, and left Patton and me alone. Alone together, that is.

"What's on your mind Lo?" Patton asked me. How did he know something was off?

"What is love?" I asked him. Just like ripping off a band-aid. Slightly painful and extremely terrifying. 

"Oh, well love can mean different things to different people. To Roman, love means being able to sacrificing yourself for the one you love and protecting them no matter the cost. To Virgil, love means being there for the one you love and taking care of them. To me, love is all of those things and more. The slightest movement of the one you love should excite you, the one you love you plague your thoughts, and just knowing that you'll see them is enough motivation to do anything. The one you love should mean everything to you" Patton explained.

"Pat?" I croaked as the realization hit me.

"Yeah lo?" Patton responded, much calmer than how I was feeling. 

"I feel that way towards you"

Ooh, how is Patton gonna react to that? I guess you'll see next chapter. Speaking of, chapters are either gonna have to be more infrequent or shorter, so which one do you guys want? Lacrosse season is starting, and I'm just not gonna have the time, sorry. Well anyways, thanks for reading. Comment, vote, whatever.

-SoftxRacoon