Holding on to you (girlxgirl)

CHAPTER TWENTY

"Baby, I was drunk I don't remember last night" She pushed me away and wiped the tears from her eyes and turned her gaze to Bree.

"Did you fuck my girlfriend?" She started to walk over to Bree and I jumped in front of her to prevent what was about to happen.

"I think it's time for me to go" she started to look for her clothes and Amy got mad and pushed me out the way. I was able to recover in enough time to grab her and put her against the wall pinning her arms up giving Bree enough time to find her thing.

"Aless, let me go. Why the hell are you protecting that little bitch?" As tears began to run down her face she stopped struggling. Standing there looking into her eyes I couldn't believe I caused her so much pain. It made me cry and I knew I had to confess.

"Ok, I'll tell you everything, but you have to let her go." She didn't respond but I knew she agreed. I loosened my grip on her. Bree was able to get dressed and headed out the door. I let Amy go and she slid slowly down the wall and sat on the floor with her head buried in her lap. I sat down in front of her and placed my hands on her knees. Just as I had done that she threw my hands off of her and looked at me.

"She's gone, now speak." I swallowed, and it felt like a lump was in my throat that was preventing me from breathing.

"Ok, the truth is." I took a deep breath then exhaled. "That was Bree, my ex-girlfriend. Actually, my first girlfriend. She is the reason why I came here. I wanted to see if she still loved me like I still loved her." Amy's face showed her confusion and how hurt she was that I loved someone else besides her. She looked away as the tears started coming even stronger this time. I decided to keep going. "We did sleep together the first night I was here, when I missed all of your calls, it was because I was with her." She got even more uncomfortable and I could tell it was hard for her to hear this; I put my arms out to place on her knee. When she saw me, she moved her knee and pushed my arm away.

"Don't touch me." She said as she turned and placed her cheek against the wall. I continued to tell her about what had happened over the last few days between me and Bree and tried to leave nothing out.

"After we had sex she pretty much shut me down and from then on, I didn't want to have anything to do with getting back with her, I just wanted you." She looked at me with sad eyes and I understood why. She was what I was settling for after not being able to get my option one. "I love you and I'm sorry it took all this to realize that you're the only one I want." She turned back and looked at me

"So, if you realized you only wanted me days ago, what was last night about? Why was she in your bed if you didn't want anything to do with getting with her?" I looked at her and I had to tell her, even though I wasn't sure.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but I don't know, I came back last night by myself after partying at carnival with Bree and her girlfriend Jenny."

"GIRLFRIEND!?" She interrupted me. "So, you're telling me that she has a girlfriend too. You two didn't care anything about our feelings in the process of your fucking I can see."

"I'm sorry"

"Whatever, finish what you were saying?"

"Well, after I got back it was just me like I said; only me, and I went to sleep. Bree must have gotten the key to my room again and let herself in."

"Again?" I sighed.

"Yes, that's how we ended up having sex the first time. She got a key from someone she knows that works here and let herself in while I was in the shower." She rolled her eyes and put her cheek back on the wall. "All I remember is having a dream that me and her had sex, then you woke me up when you knocked and that's the truth." I stopped talking and waited for her to say something, but she never did. About an hour went by with neither of us saying anything; I didn't want to rush her, so I waited until she was ready to speak to me.

*ding ding* my phone started to go off and I knew I had gotten a text message and so did Amy, she looked at me and I looked at her. She got up and walked right past me to her suitcase and purse; she picked them up and was headed to the door. I was confused; I thought she wanted to talk about what happened.

"Amy, wait! Where are you going?" I said as I jumped in front of her blocking the exit.

"Listen Alessandra, I think we should spend some time apart. My flight doesn't leave until tomorrow, so I'm stuck here, but that doesn't mean I have to be stuck here with you." Her words cut at me like ten thousand blades as I cried uncontrollably.

"Amy, please don't do this. I know you love me and we can work this out. You told me we would never end. Don't you still believe it?" Still clutching to the door, I begged. "I love you; please let's not end like this."

"Aless, how could you. You're everything to me. I never thought you would ever hurt me like this. As tears started to run down her face she dropped her things and turned her back to me and continued crying. I walked over to her held her from behind. This was the first time all day since seeing Bree she had let me touch her. I pulled her closer and tighter, she seemed to calm down and wasn't crying as much and I loved the feeling of her in my arms. As soon as I was feeling good about us she snapped us out of it.

"Get the fuck off of me Aless." She pushed me away then headed to the wall and sat with her head down. I went back to the door and sat in front just in case she tried to leave.

"So, you never told me why you decided to come here." I looked at her hoping for a response.

"No reason." I got an answer but not the one I was looking for.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" She looked at me.

"Do you really think I want to go anywhere with you right now?" She said with all the attitude in the world.

"We can order room service."

"Whatever." I rushed over to the menu to decide what we would have, I knew she loved pizza and fries the most and decided to order the same for myself. Today carnival was going to have to happen without me. Amy was more important and if we had to stay in this room until she wanted to talk to me then it would be so.

We had our lunches in different corners of the room and I had my hangover remedy that made things a little less complicated. Amy was still pissed at me and I wanted it to end if even just, so she would talk to me again, the silence was killing me.

"I love you." I said to her trying to get her to say it back.

"Oh, so you love me. Sex with another girl that you been in love with makes you love me? So, tell me, has the last 3 years meant anything to you." Her tone softened, and I could feel her pain. I made my way over to her and she let me kiss her on the forehead.

"Please believe me when I say this. There is no one in this world that I would rather be with than you. I made a stupid mistake and I know you can't forgive me but please don't leave without giving me a chance to show you that I mean what I say. I will do anything to keep you in my life. The last three years with you has been amazing and I couldn't have asked for a better girlfriend in you. I thought that she was what I wanted but like I said after my first day here I realize that she wasn't what I wanted after all and I wanted to make my way home to you." I leaned in and hugged her tight and was surprised she let me, I felt her hand creeping up on my back and I knew I hadn't lost her yet. Maybe there was something I could do to prove to her that I really do want her and only her. We sat there in each other's arms until day turned into night, I didn't want to let go, and I would hold on as long as she would let me.