To Catch A King

Chapter 24: No Visitors

Chapter Twenty-Four - No Visitors

Greenwich Palace
September 1541

I awake to another day. Another bland, isolated morning. Another 24 hours of no progress.

I still have heard nothing from my uncle, it is clear now that my family has completely abandoned me in this ordeal. I used to think September a beautiful month with that delicate, subtle beginning on the transformation into autumn, but now I do not see it. The curtains are drawn aside to reveal a sullen setting: grey sky, a dead atmosphere with no wind, plants and grasses with the colour sucked out of them. This lack of life is only reflected onto me: I feel nothing as the days pass me by with no news.

Jane Rochford is my only source of information, as, unlike me, she leaves the chambers. It is not that I cannot leave them, as such, my virtual house arrest does not state that, but I am afraid to. Every day, Jane brings me more news of how the court is reacting to this investigation. Of course, Henry and Cranmer keep the details secret, but everyone knows the gossip and the rumours, which only multiply amongst them. Ludicrous tales of my past are being invented in taverns and corridors, spreading like wildfire around the court, with the horrific details only getting worse every time they are told. Apparently I have now had relations with five other men after Dereham, and am secretly married to two of them. Henry promised to try and stop people from gossiping about me, but I do not believe he has kept that promise.

"Perhaps it would be better for me to try and talk to him." I say to Jane, who sits at the table, looking vacant.
"It must be worth a try." She replies. "But, are you sure you want to leave your rooms, people are gossiping..."
"I shall ignore them. They can say what they want, but I am the Queen of England, nobody else."
"The King will listen, he adores you, Catherine."
"I hope so, nobody else listens."
"Still no news from your family?"
"Absolutely nothing." I say, the sentence laced with hatred.
"I can't believe that. They are your family! They should defend your past."
"And my present?" I turn to look at her. "You and I both know that the rumours about me and Thomas are true."
"Yes, but nobody else need know, and Culpepper will say nothing."
"Jane, if this investigation finds me guilty - of either charge - you and me will both be ruined."
"It doesn't have to be like that..." She begins.
"No?" I question. "Shall I take the sole blame for this?"
"I don't understand, they are investigating you, Catherine."
"Do not forget that you organised, encouraged and even created this affair Jane Rochford! Or perhaps your marriage name Jane Boleyn would be more fitting, since it is possible that you are going to meet the same fate as your late husband!" I rant, struggling to suppress my anger.
"Catherine! No!" She cries. "You are not really going to blame me for this are you?"
"Not blame you, but I will not be afraid to tell the truth. And the truth is that you are my conspirator in this."
Jane is visibly shaking. "I...I do not want to be..."
"Neither do I!"
"I do not want that..." Jane begins to weep.
"Stop it, there's no point crying. I will speak to the King, he will understand. I will save us both."
"This...is our only chance?"
"Possibly."
I check my appearance in the mirror as I prepare to leave. A thought occurs to me.
"Jane," I turn slowly to her as she wipes her remaining tears, "why exactly did you help me have an affair with Culpepper?"
She shakes her head, speechless.
"What was in it for you?" I demand.
"Nothing...well, I do not know. I suppose...it was some sort of excitement, and...mr Culpepper is so handsome...I was happy to help him."
"Well look where it's got you."
"In danger." She finishes my sentence.
I leave her sitting with her thoughts.

***

The walk from my chambers to the King's was short but humiliating. Jane was right about one thing: people are gossiping, and I mean really gossiping. I don't think I passed one single group that wasn't whispering or sneering at me. On the outside I know that my expression remained placid, my skin neutral not red with humiliation, but on the inside there was, and still is, a frustration and a heavy fear tearing at my already fragile heart. Yet, as bad as that was, it could never have prepared me for what happened next.

I reach the King's chambers with a renewed sense of confidence. I survived the short journey here, and these grand wooden doors remind me of the countless times I came to see Henry in beautiful secrecy. Looking back now to those days before I became queen, I feel that there was a sense of strange simplicity amongst the deception I was playing.
"I need to speak to his Majesty, please tell him that his Queen is here." I say to the guards.
"The King is not having visitors." One of the guards replies in a monosyllabic tone, not even addressing me like a queen.
"But I am Queen of England. He can see me."
"Actually, the King has asked specifically not to see you."
"Excuse me?"
"The King does not wish to see you whilst the investigation is taking place."
"Not even if I need to defend myself? I have information that will change his view on all of this." I bluff.
"No visitors." The guard states firmly.
"I...but I have to see him...please, you don't understand."
"I understand alright, I hear them talking." He says, the hint of a smirk playing at the side of his mouth.
"The King would be angry if he knew how you were talking to me!"
"Not as angry as he is at these rumours."
"I will be back." I snap, then turn and walk quickly away, humiliated and disgraced.

This is a turning point. Never before have I been refused access to the King by his orders specifically, especially not since I have been his queen. This hot surge of anger is soon replaced by shivers of panic all over my body. What if that was my last chance to save myself?

All that I can do now is hope and pray that this investigation leads nowhere: my life depends on it.