Chapter 16: Pressure

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Chapter Sixteen - Pressure

Greenwich Palace
September 1540

I feel that am now living my current life as the Queen Consort of England in constant worry. Henry and I are into the second month of our marriage, and yet I have nothing...to announce. This perpetual anxiety that has been bothering me has before been small enough to suppress: I have told myself again and again that it is early days, there is no need to rush. But now I believe there is strong reason for me to begin to be concerned.

I shall begin with this: I was seeing the King before our wedding - even before the annulment of his marriage to Anne of Cleves - and we spent many a night together. Add those weeks to the months of marriage, and you have quite a hefty time frame. And yet, no pregnancy.

All too clearly I can remember also the immense pressure put on Anne to become pregnant. I served her, watched her grow scared, and now I am in the exact same position only a few months later. If a young woman like me cannot conceive for the King, then there lies a problem. If that is not enough, queens before me have conceived much quicker, many do on their wedding nights. I can barely describe the pressure surrounding that. The King and I represent the marriage bed of England, of the Kingdom, that is a sizeable responsibility.

Nevertheless, I must try and put this to the back of my mind. As with everything at the golden Tudor court, the façade is always much more important than the reality. I am a confident, young Queen; not an anxious one.

***

"Catherine, my beautiful Queen." Henry greets me with a glistening smile, kissing my hand. "I have somebody that I should like very much you to meet, if you can spare the time."
"I can of course spare the time, who is it?" I ask with a genuine curiosity. Henry takes my arm in his as we walk through the palace.
"Somebody extremely precious to me, hence why it is so important that you both meet."
"Am I supposed to guess?" I jive, Henry laughs lightly.
"All I will say is that, given our circumstance, this person may be of particular importance and significance to you. They may have a certain - signal - I suppose."
"You tease me too much!" I laugh. "But, I think I know who they may be..."
"Ah ha! You shall have to wait!"
"Wait? Can you not tell me now?"
"They will meet us in the main hall in just a few minutes."
"If I can bear the wait."
Henry smiles down at me in response.

As Henry and I enter the main hall, I see a small figure in the distance, several other figures behind them. I sense Henry grinning with pride and joy, and immediately my guesses are confirmed. It is Henry's only son, Prince Edward. As we near him, I too cannot prevent a smile from spreading across my face. Edward, my step-son, is a truly beautiful young boy. His round face is lit with rosy pink cheeks and sprinkled with a light scattering of freckles, his round blue eyes glistening, like Henry's. His hair is light brown and falls in curls down towards his cheeks. He is only three years of age, but already resembles his father.

"Good morning, your Majesty." Edward chirps as he gives me a little bow, looking first at Henry and then his attendants in pride.
"Good morning to you too, little Prince." I crouch down to his height, my heart filling with adoration.
"It is nice to meet you." He adds.
"And it is also a true pleasure to meet you." I smile at him.
"Is he not wonderful, Catherine?" Henry beams with pride as Edward chatters excitedly to his guardian.
"Indeed he is!" I reply honestly. "A little treasure and a credit to you, Henry. You should be proud of him."
"Oh, I am, I am. Have no doubt about that. One day, my boy will rule over empires."
"A fine King he will make."
"And, some day, he will have this conversation with his wife." A distant, thoughtful look comes into Henry's eyes, and we admire Edward in silence for a few minutes, listening to him.
"Anyway, we must be going, Edward has his lessons before he returns to his home."
"Goodbye, sweet Edward." I give him a wave and a smile, which he returns.

Henry and I leave the main hall and enter the swarms of people waiting to speak to the King. I catch the eyes of several different women, all who give me an expectant smile. Now that I have met the young prince, everyone expects that I shall very soon provide another. Henry grunts frustratedly at the amount of people wanting to get his attention, and shouts angrily at his stewards to sort them out.
"This is no way for a King to be treated!" He yells in annoyance. He storms out as quickly as he can and I follow after him.
"Why is there no order in this palace?" He shouts at nobody in particular. "Nobody understands how to wait their turn - how to organise themselves!" He pauses, and the strangest look comes over his face. "I used to have a man that could do all of that for me. Organise everything. Sort it all out."
I know that he is talking about Cromwell.
"And now he is gone."

Henry's words scare me. If he can regret his decisions that quickly, then everyone here must be extra cautious to please him, and that includes me.

Once again, I am overwhelmed by the pressure of being the Queen.

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