The rest is a blur . I hop on a plane and the second I get back I apologize to my mom for everything . I'm just so happy she didn't rub it in my face In the "I told ya so!" way . I don't think my moms capable of being that nasty to someone let alone her daughter . Point is that she was right , she was always right and I was blinded by the lust i guess you could say . I should've listened to her , that's what I keep telling myself . She said he would hurt me , that he wouldn't care what would happen to me . And she was right. So right .
I'm lost right now , besides my mother which I am so grateful for I have no one. At first I thought Ashton had lied to me . Can you blame me ? He just confessed his love for me 30 seconds before he told me the truth about Michael- it hurts just saying his name . But when he didn't even deny it , didn't even try to explain anything , it just reassured everything . It's better he didn't try to lie to me again or explain himself . I probably wouldn't have listened anyway . I don't know where to turn , I've never felt so Alone . I would hate to ruin Noemi's time with Luke. I hope she's doing ok right now , hopefully Michael isn't throwing a huge fit. If he cared at all he shouldn't have done this to me In the first place .
Is it wrong I'm upset he hasn't tried to call , at least fight for me ? I glance at my phone and nothing .
Michael's POV
"I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" I pushed Ashton who's back was to me the second I got into the room. I've never been this fucking angry with anyone . Until now that is . "You weren't going to do it yourself !" Ashton pushed me back . I heard Noemi and Mali scream but I don't fucking care . "And what that gave you the right ?!" I push him once more and this time he stumbles and almost falls backwards.
"I love her ! " He didn't even have to punch me to get the wind knocked out of me . How could he love her ? I don't even love her .
Ashton's POV
THERE . I said it . In front of god and everyone . This just makes it more real . Michael says nothing . It's the first time I ever get him to shut up this fast . The first one to speak up is not the person I expected to "You asshole ! You have no idea what you just did !" Noemi pushes me next . She obviously cares deeply for her bestfriend and doesn't like that what I told her about Mali and Mike hurt her in every way possible .
"You'll never care about her the way I do , don't you see you aren't good for her !" I slow my breathing down , it isn't very good for my heart to get this angry . "Don't talk to me , " Michael left the room and that was that .
I seem like the bad guy here but I did everything I did out of good intentions . I didn't mean to hurt anybody , especially Kelsi in the process . I don't like seeing anyone let alone my bestfriend upset I actually feel horrible that I'm responsible for this mess . We're on tour, me and my best mates and I here I go fucking it all up like I always do .
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I woke up early in the morning. Before everyone else . I just couldn't stay asleep after last night . I don't know where Michael went after he stormed out of the room . Or who he went with . Mali wasn't in her room this morning either .
I got out of bed and showered to scrub last night off of me . I feel like I should call Kelsi . See how she's doing , if she made it home alright . Well her temporary home . After my shower , I sit on the toilet and punch in the familiar number . It rings only twice . "Hi." her voice is husky and strained .
"Hello , are you alright .?" I asked . Kelsi's well being is the most important thing to me . She giggled on the other line after a few seconds . That laugh of hers is so contagious so it made me laugh soon after. "What's so funny Kelsi?" I ask causing her to laugh even more . It's my favorite sound in the whole world . I thought of Forver by the beach boys and how it's my all time favorite song and now I know why ' if every word I said could make you you laugh I would talk forever ' "I - I nodded when you asked if I was alright but you can't see me !" she fell into a fit of giggles . "Wow Kelsi."
"Ha , I like your laugh Ashton . I don't hear it enough ." she sounds fine . Maybe I did Kelsi a favor . I haven't heard her voice this light and happy in such a long tim . "Kelsi we're about to start !" I hear her busy mother shuffling around in the background . She has this week off but I guess she's still working on rehearsing . "Call me later you seem to be preoccupied ." the never ending interruptions . "I will,answer ok ?" then she hangs up. I smile at my phone , she's not hurting right now . At least not as much and that's all I could ever ask for .
I get up off the toilet and unwrap the towel from my hips and change into black jeans , and a red and black flannel . When I re enter the room everyone seems to be awake . Liz comes in and takes us all downstairs to get breakfast before we all get our bus . I guess it's already been arranged with the tour managers that Noemi and Luke will have bunks right across from eachother .
Once breakfast is over and we get our bus , I get the one all the way on the bottom on the right side . My usual spot on every other bus we've ever had . it's because I can't really get any higher than that . And the other boys always have first choice of bunk . They still punk on me because to them I'm still the "new guy" . It gets to me at times but that's part of being in a band right ?
After everyone's all settled in , Calum asks if I want to to play FIFA with the guys and wait for Michael to turn up but I just say no and text Kelsi while laying in my bunk . We've been texting and sending selfies all morning . She hasn't brought up Michael or Mali once and I think that's a good thing for me . Really good .
Michael's POV
I can't really walk straight but I can some what make my way through the crowded hotel and to the back garage where our bus is . Everyone's been worried about me . Even Noemi has left me thousands of messages trying to get me to answer .
But I didn't .
I found some weed after being In a bar for 3 hours and it's not as bad as I thought . And it's the only thing that made jumping Mali's bones in a utility closet again bearable . She came after me after I left the room last night , she was the only one . It made me numb to everything . Even her.
She was the only one out of the bunch who didn't try to come find me , see if I was okay . I guess Kelsi never cared about me in the first place .
I'm still a bit drunk so yes it is difficult opening the bus door but I eventually get it . I'm still upset but trying not to dwell as I ignore everyone and climb onto my bunk all the way at the top on the left side . I remember I chose this because I could see and talk to Ashton clearly . Now I just roll over on my side and close my curtain . This nap is much needed and I hope my dreams aren't clouded with brown eyes and purple hair.
A few bumps on the road later , I am woken up by some familiar and annoying laughter . Ugh . I open my curtain a little and peer down to where it's coming from . Ashton is looking at a picture of Kelsi on his phone and I can see him taking a selfie and sending one to her. A pang of jealousy hits me and scramble for my phone . It's under my pillow and nope . No photo , or call , message .
