Another night passed without any sleep , just when I got a taste of what it was like to sleep all night it gets ripped right from under me again . When I got to the hotel and checked my phone with the silent hope maybe Michael would've called , all I saw were pictures of me shirtless in the In-N-Out parking lot . So many 5SOS Fans were saying really harsh things and I don't know why I read them , it's not like I want to know who hates me and who doesn't . So many others were asking what had actually happened but I didn't feel like letting anyone in on this private conversation that everyone had videos of.
Speaking of videos there were so many of the boys leaving the airport and I finally felt what Michael felt when I left him all alone . I feel betrayed , stupid , I feel like I could've done so many things differently but I just chose not to . I didn't want to walk away but I had to , right ?
I climbed out of bed and got ready for an interview over at ClevverTV about updates on the tour and I wonder if they'll bring up Brad or Michael , speaking of which Brad hasn't tried to call me since the night I called and I know this sounds bad but he's always been an amazing listener and I just wish I could call him up and ask what to do . And for the interview he would've been great moral support he always has been. I put on my matching pencil skirt that goes just below my knees and matching long sleeve crop top that goes with it and nude pumps , it's a more professional interview and I really wanna look like I tried to dress up . I kept my hair straight today and sprayed a few drops of One Directions "Our Moment" perfume on . Yes I bought it please don't judge , besides high end perfume doesn't even smell that nice .
Once I got my car from the hotel valet I turned the radio up all the way and I heard my song on it , it's pretty out dated honestly and I want to start writing more music soon, I guess since I've been so focused on tour writing music for the next one has slipped my mind. And considering how emotional I've been since Michael , I should have more than enough material.
When I got to ClevverTV I sat in my car for a little and told myself "You can do this , smile , laugh you can do it " I looked in my car mirror and almost cried because I didn't recognize the person looking back . When was the last time I actually looked at myself ? The bags under my eyes have bags , I've got worry lines on my forehead and I have never needed a Chapstick so bad in my whole life . To try and cover that up I put on a dusty rose lipstick on and put even more concealer under my eyes . I took one more deep breath and I finally climbed out if my car . The only sound was my heels clicking against the concrete and I felt a sudden sense of loneliness and even though I'm mad at him I want more than anything for him to hold my hand and tell me the interview will be fine and I've got nothing to worry about .
The first few minutes were about what I've been up to with rehearsals and all and just the tour in general. About 10 minutes into it, she started I ask annoying questions . "Ok Kelsi , we know that last December things started to hear up with cheeky Brit boy Brad from the Vamps , care to update?" she batted her fake eyelashes at me. "Uh we dated for a while I guess but I didn't really want to involve my love life with my work , and I couldn't let that relationship affect the tour , maybe after but not right now ." I answered half honestly . "Aw what a shame , you guys were the perfect match. Speaking of which , the complete opposite of perfect match is you and Michael Clifford from 5S.O.S? " I cringed when she said the initials instead of just saying it "sos" like everyone else . "There were rumors and this video of you two , what's up with that Kelsi" she obnoxiously gestured towards the tv in the room playing me throwing his sweater at him . "Yeah as of right now we aren't together ." I choke out not letting myself look at the tv . "Good you got out of that sweetie, he's not right for you ." She said jokingly but I know deep down she meant it . "He's just a punk , bad boys aren't special."
That's when I snapped , Michael isn't just a bad boy he IS special , special to me and special to every person who's been touched by his music . "Who's are you to know what's right and what's not for me ?" I ask rudely . "No I was ju-"
