i'm only given clues

Chapter 1

Only Dinah remains awake beside her, watching and counting the road signs as they pass.

"I'm sorry," Normani whispers softly, keeping her eyes on the road.

Neither of them have mentioned it, but Dinah knows why she's apologizing.

She glances sideways to see if Dinah heard and catches her checking in the rear view to see if the others are asleep. Once she's satisfied that they are, she tangles their fingers together over the center arm rest and Normani's chest burns.

Dinah falls asleep like that, with their fingers tangled together and her head resting against the window.

/

Around Jackson, Mississippi, Jacob radios in that he needs gas.

They pass a gas station twenty minutes later and she's the first to pull in, rolling up to one of the pumps and jumping out of the car. Jacob pulls in second, Ty swiftly after him and they both jump out of their cars to quietly greet her. Normani notices that, just like her, all of their passengers are fast asleep.

Normani shivers as she steps towards pump, following their lead. She hates getting gas. Hates the smell of it if she accidentally gets some on her hands, which she almost always does, and hates how it lingers for days. Plus, you never know how many truck drivers have scratched their asses and touched those things. She doesn't even like to think about where else their hands might have been.

"Here, I'll get it," Jacob says, jumping in quickly. Normani glances to his car, where he already has the nozzle resting in his inlet. She mumbles a thanks and rubs her eyes tiredly. Jacob offers her a kind smile. "You look exhausted."

She scoffs, but gives him a half-smile in return anyway. "Starting to regret this whole driving there thing."

Concern coats his features, "We should stop for a while. Get a little rest before we hit the road again. It's dangerous driving for this long without a break. We could get coffee in the diner. I don't think anyone would mind."

Normani nods, too tired to argue.

/

Ty decides to have a nap instead and asks them to wake him up before they leave. Normani knows if she goes to sleep she'll never wake up, so she follows after Jacob as they walk across the forecourt to the diner.

"Hang on," she mumbles as goosebumps form all over her arms. "I forgot my jacket."

She runs back and grabs it, slipping it on over yet another tank top. She readies herself to head over to Jacob, but stops when she hears gentle shivers from inside the car. She turns to find the source and sighs when she notices that all of them are quivering from the drop in the temperature.

She figures it's okay to show her kind side while they're sleeping. She rolls her eyes and rounds to the back of the car, waving a hand at Jacob to tell him she'll catch up. She pops the back of the car and delves around inside, not really caring if anything falls on Keith because she's pretty sure she could sing Don't Stop Believing at the top of her lungs into his ear canal and he wouldn't even stir.

She finds the few blankets her mother made her bring with them in case there wasn't enough, and adds it to the one that she keeps in there anyway. She finds a pillow and grabs that too and rests everything atop the car as she takes one blanket and lays it lazily over Keith. She gathers everything and climbs into the front seat, leaning over the chairs to get to Ryan and Quincy. Ryan sighs softly when Normani draws the blanket up to her chin to cover her shoulders. Quincy yawns when she tucks the blanket around him so that it doesn't fall off of his legs.

But when she gets to Dinah, she can't help but stop and stare. The way the too-bright gas station lighting hits her face shouldn't make her look so beautiful, but it does. It fights with the pitch black of the darkness until Normani can see how every curve and contour of her face looks more perfect than should be allowed.

She gulps as she uses the blanket she always keeps in the car to cover over Dinah's bare legs and arms. Her mind flickers to all the times that she and Dinah put down the seats in the back of her car and lay on their backs to look up at the stars through the sunroof. Some nights they would end up making out, but most of them they would just stare up at the sky and dream of places far, far away.

It would be simple to say that things were easier back then, but it wouldn't be true. It was hard. It was hard to lay beside Dinah and pretend that she didn't want to just roll over and hold her close without their clothes coming off or their lips battling. It was hard not to chuckle 'I love you' every time Dinah pointed up to the sky and made up a constellation. Everything was so hard then, but it's even harder now.

She sighs and draws the blanket up around Dinah's shoulders. Her fingers push the hair back from Dinah's face as she slowly shifts her to slip the pillow between her head and the door. Dinah stirs, but Normani's there, making gentle sounds to lull her back into sleep. She settles easily with Normani's nose pressed to her hair.

Normani takes a deep breath and can't help herself.

"I love you," she whispers almost silently. Dinah's skin warms as Normani presses a kiss to her forehead. She hums contently in response.

/

The waitress follows her as she makes her way over to Jacob, instantly pouring her a cup of coffee as she sits down. He says nothing, but stares at her like he's the only nerd in class who knows the answer to a really hard math problem. She quickly becomes uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze.

"What?" she says, pushing her hair away from her face and shrinking into herself.

Jacob smiles and sips his coffee, picks at the blueberry muffin in front of him. "Does she know?" he asks and Normani's heart drops.

Her automatic response to scoff leaves her before she can control it. Denial seeps into her bones and she rolls her eyes at him in refusal. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She's a little shocked when he doesn't push it, but he doesn't stop staring at her and maybe, Normani thinks, her math problem is not really a hard math problem at all.

/

They arrive in New Orleans at almost five am. They don't even bother looking for their motel this early in the morning. They assume it would be useless considering that its front desk probably wouldn't be open yet. They just find somewhere quiet outside the city and fall quickly asleep.

Before she drifts off to sleep, Normani feels Dinah tangle their fingers over the arm rest again, underneath the edge of her blanket.

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Disclaimer: the story is not mine, all credits go to thefooliam on fanfiction.net