ALiVE (KHR Fanfic)

104. Seclude

"He told us that ever since he came into this world, he wanted nothing but to die." Jager explained, "But he was 'cursed' with the ability to not die."

That made Drew perk up in alarm. "Immortality?"

"Indeed," Jager agreed. "He demanded to be kept in the prison where he did not have to see the world again. He was the direct opposite of you at the moment."

Immortality, a curse. And that man's way of dealing with that issue was to be trapped in darkness, unconscious, for eternity. 

How dismal.

"What about me..." Drew asked, "reminded you of him?"

"The look in your eyes," was Jager's answer. "They're just like ours."

Eyes.

"Just like yours?" Drew could've laughed, but she could only manage a scoff. "Dead and tired. Very much like you guys indeed."

"So you were aware." Jager was mildly sarcastic. "The look of one that has gone through death. Eyes filled with malice, and a resolute desire for revenge."

Revenge.

Drew chortled. "Revenge, eh?" Her fists clenched and her teeth gritted, "Even my brother didn't choose to go down that route. Have I fallen that far?"

"All that have experienced death seek justice," it may have been an assurance, "we are much the same."

Rei's body throbbed with incredible burns.

"Is that guy..." Drew inquired, genuinely curious, "Immortal? Still alive?"

"He is." Jager was quick, "Would you like to see him?"

Still alive-- a century later.

Immortal, what Rei often wished to be. Immortal, but chose himself to be in this water prison for the rest of eternity. That was the eternal rest he desired to have.

How much despair would someone have to be in to reach that point?

Unlike Rei, he did not manage to find in himself the happiness in his life.

But the Vindice-- that man wished for death, but could not gain it. Thus he wished for an eternal coma, where he would be legally dead for as long as anyone knew.

...And the Vindice just did as he wished?

That was how cold and cruel the Vindice were. 

Despicable.

Rei was like that man. Reincarnated? Transferred. Facing despair, facing hopelessness. He was all alone in this world, with people who couldn't understand him.

That man gave up; but Rei stood up.

Rei isn't gonna fall down anytime yet-- no, Drew won't let him drop. Not in front of the Vindice, of all people. Drew hated them.

The Void ring lit up with a Night Flame.

Coating them over his broken bones, Drew pulled herself upright. 

"Do you yearn for death, too?" Jager asked, a taunt of annoyance, irritation and resignation, "is that why you do such reckless things?"

"I'm not Rei," Drew admitted. "That guy you met-- and me too. We're not like you."

This made Jager go silent.

"We've seen it all. Your world, and how it goes. We're frankly not interested." Drew managed to stand up, dusting herself off and turning to face Jager. 

"We just want--" she stopped, "Wanted," she spoke for herself, "To go back to our world."

Jager's eyes widened, and a realization struck in him.

Drew clenched her chest.

What was so great about being in the anime world?

To go into a world of fantasy with nothing; or to remain in your world with everything you ever loved in your life. Which would the average person desire?

It may be hard to conclude, but Drew for one, wished for the latter.

"I won't be like that man." Drew told Jager, "I will live, because Rei-- he needs..."

...Huh?

Wait... hold on a minute.

Jager lifted his head, alarmed at the sudden pause. The sentence hung in the air-- something was wrong.

Drew thought back. To all those times Rei was in trouble and Drew wasn't there for him. The one that could comfort Rei was always Yamamoto. 

All those times Rei unnecessarily suffered-- weren't they caused by Drew? Even now-- aren't Drew's stubborn actions causing Rei more harm than good?

Does... Does Rei really need me?

He didn't.

Rei didn't... need Drew. Not anymore. Rei had Yamamoto now. Rei had friends now. He has a family who cares and he cares about. 

Drew may be in his mind, but Drew was not a necessary figure in his life. Drew wasn't needed, not anymore at least.

So why is Drew still here?

Shaking her head, she tried to forget it. She pretended she hadn't seen it. She forced herself to think of something else.

She didn't want to believe it.

-

Throwing a hard punch towards Jager, Drew was blown back harshly into a wall. Her flames extinguished once again-- but she forced it alight.

Crawling back up, she lit that flame over and over again.

She refused to realize that she was now an unnecessary spirit dwelling on the past.

Rei didn't need her, she now knows.

Rei didn't need her anymore;

So why is she still here?