Life Notes & Love Letters

"Feeling"

"Feeling"

You little hypocrite.

You think this is easy for me?

You hurt me,

Scorn me,

Tell me I don't write with feeling.

Darling I put my life blood

Into this poetry.

Poetry is how I connect with others,

How I express how deep and vast my pain goes.

You want how I feel?

Here we go...

Careful what you ask for my dear.

I am drowning,

Strangled,

Suffocating.

I watch as the air swirls,

Twirls,

Whirls

In spirals from my nose and mouth

Into the open ocean above till they reach the surface.

I can feel the burn,

The ache,

The pain...

The excitement pulse through my chest.

I may be drowning,

Dying,

But at least I'm away from you!

There's only one thing left to do now!

I choke on the water,

The water sinking into every part of me,

My whole self growing heavy...

I am dying...

So be it...

But it was only a dream!

If only getting away from you was that easy!

So now here I am,

You are approaching me with hate,

Love absent from your stare.

You cut,

Lash,

Slash,

Splash this toxic feeling on me!

I scream,

Cry,

Yell,

Fight,

But I can never get away from you.

This blood pulses through my veins.

I am high on adrenaline,

No longer feeling the pain of the past...

And I see you there.

Defenseless on the floor...

But I won't hurt you.

I will not be the monster you want me to be.

I help you up,

Just so you can strangle me again...

I put my morals over my pain...

I guess you can say

That i'm only human.