Over And Over, Again And Again. (Sanders Sides Fic)

Distraction

Warnings: Cuts and blood (nothing serious), screaming

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I can’t stop. Every move I make isn’t mine, I’m not doing this. No matter how much times I tell myself to calm down, the anger won’t leave. I have no reason to be angry, yet, the thought of Virgil repulses me. Well..not exactly me. I don’t really understand it. When I think of Virgil, I don’t particularly feel anything bad. He hasn’t done anything to make me angry, and he’s been doing a great job lately. Though, another side of me completely loathes him, but it’s not me. It’s..something else. Something else is taking over, something else is controlling me, and I don’t like it.

It’s an enemy I must defeat, in order to protect those I love. In order to protect Virgil.

I won’t let it take over.

Calm down, calm down, calm down. More.. Defeat the enemy. I could do this. I could do this, for Virgil.

I manage to calm myself to the point where I can finally realize what it is that I’m doing.

…owww,

The two already has me tied down, though not to anything in particular. They simply wrapped the rope around me several times to where I can’t move my arms.

“Ow, Thomas, it burns..” I groan in pain. I guess my fighting and moving to much, the rope rubbed against my skin, like a rug burn, but it’s bleeding and it hurts like a son of a-

“Apologies, Roman. It was the only way we could stop you.” Logan speaks, getting the first aid kit that Thomas keeps in his closet.

“Why are my sleeves even pushed up? That’s not fashionable. How’d they get up here?” I question. Logan pushes the rope off the cuts “Ow, ow! That hurts, you know?”

“Stay still,” He orders, taking some liquid stuff and some gauze out of the kit.

I turn my head, the room spins and my stomach feels like it wants to empty itself. I sigh, “I really don’t feel well.”

“It’s only for today, you’ll be free soon.” Thomas assures me.

“No, I mean, I really don’t feel well. Everything hurts from inside and out.” I inform him, but he just gives me a sorry look.

Logan puts some of the liquid stuff on the piece of gauze.

I wonder how the others are doing downstairs. I hope they’re having fun, ‘cause I’m not. I wonder what time it is, is it 5:00pm? Is it 8:00pm? What’s happening outside this room? Is there another planet that’s going to crash into ours any minute now? Is there- “OWWW!” I scream as Logan applies the liquid stuff on my cuts. “A little warning next time would be great!”

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A scream comes from the bedroom, I wonder if they’re alright.

“Why did they need a rope?” Virgil questions as I hand him a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows, but the marshmallows are already half melted. He places it on the table with a “thank you,” and I take a seat next to him. Poor kiddo has been shaky and anxious all day, this must be hard on him, reliving it over and over. I’d gladly take his place anytime if it meant he’d be safe. He curls up next to me, leaning into my side. I had put The Lion King on for a distraction, so he’s currently fixed on that.

We sit in quite for a little bit, watching the movie, until Virgil speaks.

“Patton, do you think.. this’ll work? What if the argument doesn’t happen, but I still continue the cycle again tomorrow. What if you don’t remember any of this when I wake up?” He speaks quietly.

“Just keep trying your best, I’m sure it’ll stop one day. Even if that day isn’t today. Don’t give up, kiddo.” I assure him. He nudges closer to me, placing his head on my shoulder.

I hope he’s going to be okay. He needs a break, from everything. Once he’s out of this I’m never letting him out of my sight.

“Hey,” I get his attention, “What did the animals tell Simba when he was moving to slow?”

He looks up at me with question.

“Mufasa.”

He makes an annoyed groaning noise and turns back to the movie, but I saw that little smile of his.

“Come on, kiddo! That one was good!” He smiles and looks down. Daww, I made him smile!

We turn back to the movie and manage to sit through it with no further complications. I put on Nightmare Before Christmas next. Virgil has seemed to lighten up a little, he’s more relaxed now, which is good.

I hope the others are doing okay up there.

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“Thomas, what time is it?” I question. We’ve been sitting here for some time now, but feels like I’ve been here for about a decade.

“It’s 11:00pm, just one more hour.” He answers, checking his watch.

I sigh. Just one more hour, it can’t be that bad. One more-…oh no.

A heavy feeling settles in my chest. It’s that anger again. Just when I thought it was fully gone, it come right back like the menace it it and ruins everything. I just can’t win! I hate my hate, damn it! I struggle against the rope that holds me in place, well, not so much me, but whatever’s making me do this. A force of some kind.

Come on, can’t the last hour just be peaceful?

Nope, of course not.

My struggling burns my wounds as the rope rubs against them. Thomas and Logan don’t seem to notice. They’re faced the opposite way from me, Thomas on his phone and Logan reading a book. Come on, guys..notice already!

The rope begins to slide down my arms, then to my torso. I manage to weave my arms out with great difficulty, wishing they’d tied it tighter.

Come on, this isn’t fair! Why can’t I stop?

I slip out of the rope, making my way to the door. Finally Logan notices and rushes over before I manage to unlock it.

“Thomas, help me.” He orders, and Thomas comes rushing over. Logan takes one arm and Thomas takes the other, pulling me back.

Everything turns black.

I can’t see, but..I can? It’s like I’m in a dream. Correction, nightmare. It’s all blurry and distorted. I could barely hear anything but shouting. I don’t feel anything. Not my wounds, not Thomas, not Logan.

I can’t move.

I can’t do anything.

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