Adrenaline

Keith's End (Part I)

At least his skin was better after he got into the habit of drinking when thirsty instead of when the others forced food and liquid down his throat. Okay, it wasn't that dramatic but Keith would have starved and thirsted himself instead of being afraid of spilling if the others hadn't insisted that he drank and ate all he could before there had been any talk about visiting the planet Jedremi.

He knew that the Jedrics had done something to him that Red didn't like, it was the only explanation Keith could think of as to why she would go from saving to rejecting him, and he secretly blamed them for it, but he was thankful too as without them, he would probably have been dead. Dehydration or actually succeeded in suicide, he didn't know how he would have died but he doubted that the others could have kept him alive for too much longer. Perhaps they could have put him in a cryo pod and technically keeping him alive but it would be as if he was in one of those coffin pods they had put Sendak in and judging from his malnourished state, the pods couldn't actually keep him alive for too long. Or they could have frozen him in time as Coran and Allura had been for 10,000 years but that would just have been cruel and fixed nothing. It would only result in Keith being as good as dead until someone either killed him in his even more vulnerable state or were cruel enough to awaken him and then nothing would have been different from just letting him kill himself in the first place.

Keith was therefore thankful for the Jedrics ability to give him the will to eat and drink and the ability to walk and almost talk normally. His lisp was bad and he too embarrassed to start talking or too mortified to keep talking most of the time. He was therefore speaking far less than anyone else in the castle were, not that he had ever been the most talkative guy, but he talked a lot more than he did when he had just woken up from his... prolonged sleep in a pod and the others understood what he said of the time.

However, thankfulness didn't change that he would rather be dead than useless and rejected by the one who knew him the most.

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Keith arrived in the kitchen and saw Lance and Pidge pester Hunk to make them something that tasted as far from goo as possible and Hunk trying to explain to them that he wasn't magical and there was only so much food and spices in the castle.

"Hello, Hunk," Keith greeted and caught the attention of everyone in the kitchen.

"Hi," Keith said to Pidge and Lance too and gave them a little nod for good measure so they knew he meant them both.

"What have I done to you, Keith?" Lance exclaimed as soon as he realized Keith wasn't going to say anything more.

"I'm not in the mood." Keith was really not in the mood for anything that didn't let him cry to himself and later pretend that it didn't happen or hit something very hard until he made an inanimate object cry. It was only hours after Keith found out the Red Lion was telling the other lions that her paladin was dead, so he thought he was justified to be a little negative even if the others didn't know of this new development.

"Why is it that you can say Hunk's name just fine but refuses to say mine?" Lance asked and let out an offended huff of air. Keith sent him an unamused look but Lance's fiery and sharp eyes didn't waver. "Once or twice is fine. Even I know that I can be wrong at times, but you have refused to say it even once since like forever!"

"Mine too, actually?" Pidge piped up, but she seemed more curious than angry and only with the slightest edge of hurt in her voice.

Keith got where they were coming from he just didn't know what to say. Well, he did know what he could say under normal, or more like past, circumstances but now? He didn't want anyone to be reminded about all the things he still couldn't do, himself included, and listening to his lisp would just awaken that knowledge every time someone forgot it for the slightest second.