Beyond the Deep Water

Soul Break

The day unfolds and the awkward silence between Camille, Paige, and Ally becomes heavier. What Kate said about Paige is the truth, it's always been her truth. To be in love with Adam in silence, because she loves her friend more. To keep this friendship it's more important than a boy. Especially if that boy already knows who he wants and it's not her, it's never been her.

"I'm sorry..." Paige apologizes for not being honest.

Surprisingly, the truth seems to slap Camille but not in the way Kate or even Paige expected. She's not angry, nor hurt; instead, she feels guilty. Guilty to be the one preventing Adam from finding happiness. Happiness with someone else other than her. Camille can't even figure out what she wants and now she's not just interfering in his life, but also in Paige's.

"I don't want to talk about it now," Camille says while the weight of her mistake starts to pull her down.

Realizing that nobody is actually happy in the situation they're in. Paige's lonely expression keeps playing in the back of her mind as she walks next to Adam. To a boy that's not just the most beautiful and gentle soul, she's ever met. He's someone who saved her from a turbulent life of despair and darkness.

Feeling even more responsible for not being able to be happy and not letting someone else be happy. Adam deserves much better than to be running around in circles for her; he can be with someone reliable, someone sane. Someone like Paige. Taken over by her guilty conscience, Camille sucks in the cold air of November. Feeling the nostrils cringe as the cool breeze slowly scrapes down her throat, she winces at the uncomfortable sensation.

"Adam?" her voice growing raspy, which makes Adam stop immediately.

"Are you okay?" he asks wondering if she's getting sick. Immediately taking his jacket off to cover her. Camille's heart trembles.

Although in front of him, Camille has only cried once. Adam understands the tortured look in her violet eyes. He has heard about Paige's secret but he can't say anything that will make Camille misunderstand. Camille sighs, trying to figure out the best way to explain her frustration. How to convince him that, she cares about his happiness more than her own. She can't seem to find happiness for herself; much less give happiness to someone else.

"Camille...?" Adam notes the anxiety chewing her up.

"Why do you like me, Adam?" she asks looking up into his honest eyes.

Tears balling up as the determination of a bittersweet step becomes heavy on her heart. To conclude something that has no future, neither for her nor for him. Caught by surprise with her sudden question. He hesitates for a moment trying to find the right words to calm her self-destructive mind.

Adam knows that to be with someone like Camille, who tends to block the rest of the world as a protective mode. Locking herself in an invisible ball where her body feels the pain but her mind is numb to the toxic society. Although for the rest of the world this is something complicated to understand, Adam admires this part of her. It's what makes her stronger and unique. What has made her survive many years of abuse and slander by everyone, certain of his answer Adam wallows his embarrassment and stands firm before her, giving his best shot to set her heart at ease.

"Like everyone in town, I heard the gossip and rumors about you." he starts slowly taking a step closer. Her eyes look bigger than normal, with a unique glimpse of purity that gives him peace and courage to speak up.

"When I saw you for myself. The first time... I knew immediately, those were all lies. I saw you fragile and helpless, bruised up, I realize that I needed to be strong to help you," he says with a shy trembled in his voice.

"I learned, to see how you always try to understand why everyone else has the wrong impression about you. How you never take to heart any vicious comments, you've been always silently taking it all in. I wanted to be your support... to protect you, I wanted to keep the tears away from your eyes." the sincerity Camille looks for its there, in every word out of his mouth.

"But it looks like I've failed." his eyes decay with sadness, making her heart heavy with regret and sadness for hurting someone so valuable.

Camille smiles sweetly at the memory of Adam finding her lying on the grass, his eyes were wide with fear thinking that she was dead. Although mentally she wasn't, her body had collapsed thanks to a violent beating from a drunk Steve. He was so shocked to see the bruises on her arms, the marks on her face. That memory brings her to make a difficult decision, because just like back then, Adam has been struggling. Ever since they met, he's been struggling to give her a freedom that only she can find.

Finally seeing things clearly, even when her heart breaks into a million pieces and her soul crumbles with agonizing sadness. Now she has the courage she needed to give Adam his freedom back. Freedom to smile without worrying. Camille holds on to the need to give him his normal life back, to have a chance to find real happiness with someone else.

"What's wrong?" Adam wonders, alarmed by the tears filling up her eyes. Her shaky hand over her heart. Breathing in deeply to calm the sharp stabs and the knots in her throat making it hard to speak.

"For the rest of my life, it doesn't matter where I'll go or where you'll go... I'll always remember this..." she stutters with anguish to get the words out, Adam freezes in a shocking realization.

"Both of us standing next to each other, you always protecting me. So, caring and loving, even when I don't deserve it. It's not fair Adam... it's not fair to anyone." her heart breaks with every word, so does his.

Adam holds of her tightens up, his eyes building up with moisture. A sharp stab pierces his chest with every word coming out of her mouth. Adam stands there like a robot trying to control the sudden tremble in his knees. His eyes widen with desperation, she's breaking his heart.

"Don't tell me this is about Paige..." his dead tone sounds distant in his ears. Camille shakes her head furiously.

"No... You, I've finally realized that this is so unfair." she weeps finally letting him see her remorse.

"Camille..." his voice breaks.

"I'm sorry, Adam. I want to break up." letting out the heartbreaking news, without giving him a minute to react. He stops breathing for a moment, letting those words sink into the cracks of his heart. He becomes a block of ice in shock.

"I'm sorry..."