One Tough Love

PaPa

Spring 1992

It was nearly 4pm and my replacement still hasn't made it in yet. I was working as a waitress at the neighborhood diner and I was ready to leave already. As time progressed, the customers were getting more and more rude and impatient. It wasn't even summer yet and this heat was already getting to everyone, including me. So I don't blame them for being slightly irritated but damn! no need to take it out on me.

I had just dropped off a check for my last table before walking behind the counter to ask my manager if I can leave. The rush was finally over and there was no point in me being on the clock for $2.13 plus shitty tips an hour.

"Clarissa, is it alright if I go ahead and head out? All my side work is done and I just cashed out my last table," I say looking around the empty diner.

"She can leave, I can handle things until Raé gets here," Melanie chimed in.

"What time does she come in?" Clarissa asked as she began counting the drawer.

I looked at the clock on the wall. "3:45....it's almost 4 and I have somewhere to be!!"

I didn't have a car and where I was headed was 12 blocks away. It's hot as hell and if I wanted to make it in time I had to get a move on.

"Alright go!! And tell your grandfather we all say hi and we hope he makes a speedy recovery!!!" Clarissa responded.

I threw my apron in the locker and made a dash to the door.

"Don't forget we have plans tonight, girl!!" Melanie called out.

I ran out the door and collided with Raé.

"Excuse me, I'm so sorry!!!" She said, helping me up.

"No, you're fine!" I say brushing myself off. "I should slow down."

I began to walk away when she grabbed me by the wrist and said, "I know we've had our differences but I'm truly praying for you and your granddad." She rubbed my arm sympathetically and I couldn't help but tear up.

I've been staying with my grandparents since I was a youngin. My parents abandoned me and left me alone in a alleyway when I was barely 6 months old. From what I was told, a homeless woman found me, still swaddled and asleep on a old busted up mattress. I was then taken to an orphanage where weeks later my grandparents would find me and take me in under their care.

Shortly after my 14th birthday my grandma passed away from natural causes, leaving behind my grandfather and I to look after one another.

My granddad busted his ass to make sure I went to school with a good bill of health, had nice clothes, school supplies and extra money for anything else I wanted to do. He made sure there was always a roof over our heads, running hot water and lights. The kitchen stayed stocked with food at all times.

Shortly after my 18th birthday he was diagnosed with leukemia and Osteosarcoma, which is a type of bone cancer. It went into remission for a couple of years but now it's back and it's slowly killing him.

I continued the rather long and HOT walk still deep in thought when I see a car slow down to my pace.

"Hey!!!" Marissa calls out, "Get in!"

I ran to the passenger side and climbed in.

"I thought you might need a lift.." She says. We turned the corner and headed straight to the hospital.

"Thank you, I greatly appreciate it." I say looking out the window. We finally made it to our destination and I got out. "Thank you, again, sweets!" I say before shutting the door.

"No problem, girl. I'll be out here when you're done." She says putting the car in park.

I ran inside but by the time I made it to the 3rd floor where my granddad's room was, visiting hours had ended. I walked up to the nurses desk anyways to see if they could just let me have a few minutes with him. Seeing that I'm always there, sometimes even spending the night, they decide to give me just a few minutes.

I walked in the room and I could automatically feel the atmosphere and how sad it was. I went and sat next to his bedside. The tubes that was once running in, out and all around him we're gone and there was only one IV in his hand. He wasn't even hooked up to any oxygen like he was just yesterday. One of his nurses walked in and checked his charts, taking his vital signs.

"How long does he have?" I ask her, slightly scared to hear the answer. I know it couldn't be too much longer because he wasn't even responsive. His breathing was light and his face was sunk in. I grabbed his hand, which was slightly cold and held it between my own. It hurt so bad to see him like this, especially since there was nothing more anyone could do.

"A few days maybe. The doctor says he could go at anytime.." The nurse explains to me. After taking his blood pressure she turned to leave and said, "You're more than welcome to come back after hours. We know time is of the essence and it's important he feels you here in these final days."

I couldn't bear the thought of losing him at anytime and I knew I needed to be here until the very end. "Thank you." I whispered.

I sat there for another 10 - 15mins with my head on his chest. I felt like a small child again. I cried until I could no longer and decided to leave and come back later that night to sleep.

I walked out the room, gently shutting the door behind me and thanked the nurses again for their empathy.

I got back in the car with Marissa. I'm guessing I startled her because she almost jumped out her skin when I shut the door.

"Oh my god, you scared the hell out of me!!" She said grabbing her chest.

"Nice nap?" I smirked.

"You know it," she replied. "So, tell me, what's going on? How is he? And when can he come home?"

Marissa is like a sister to me. We've known each other since preschool and never ever left each other's side. She quickly became part of my family when both her parents were killed by a drunk driver a few years ago. Her and my grandfather grew very close and he treated her just like his very own, giving her a place to stay with us. She's never been one to deal with death, so when she found out granddad was only getting worse, she decided to steer clear of the hospital and the house and I completely understand. She doesn't know that he's at a point of no return and the news is definitely going to crush her.

"I- ...doctors say papa isn't gonna make it too much longer. His body is already starting to shut down. They've taken him off of his medications and everything. It's only a matter of time before he passes on... They give him a few days" I explain.

Silence filled the car. When I looked up to see her reaction, she was crying. I put my hand over hers.

"We're gonna make it through this. We need to stick together because all we have is each other," My voice cracked. I leaned over and gave her a hug and let her cry until she was done. She grabbed some tissues out the glove compartment and wiped her nose. "We'll be okay..." She said trying to give a faint smile but failing miserably.

"We will." I reassured.