That Should be Me: A Larry Stylinson FanFic

Chapter 15

“Alex? How are you lad?” I carefully asked him.

“L-Louis, I’m sorry.” The sincerity in his voice and expression made me sigh in relief. The old Alex was back. That seriously scared me. “I-I wasn’t being myself.”

I felt a bit conflicted. On one hand I wanted to run away and pretended this never happened and on the other hand, I wanted to drill him with as many questions as I can, to know what was going through his noggin.

“Alex,” I spoke slowly. “You need to explain.” I thought he would just walk away but he nodded in defeat.

“I’m so stupid, I can’t have alcohol or else I turn into someone else, my alter ego I guess.” He ran a hand through his hair and let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry I d-did that to you.”

“It’s fine Alex. I just wondering why and what you said about Marilyn.”

He licked his lips restlessly but continued. “Louis, it’s a bit awkward for me to say this but… I like you.”

“I’m flattered really but I’m sorry I-.” I was about to say I don’t see him like that and blah blah.

“I know…you like Harry.”

Was it that obvious that I have feelings for my mate?

 “But I guess my lust for you took over and when you didn’t let me get away, I couldn’t control myself anymore. I was jealous of Harry and the close relationship that you guys have with each other. Maybe I just want to feel that kind of love for myself. As for Marilyn, well I’ve been gay even before Marilyn; she didn’t turn me gay.” He stopped momentarily but I encouraged him to continue.

My brows knitted closer together; although I’m a tad confused, I’m not gonna interrupt him yet. But how come I haven’t noticed that he was jealous? And why did he date Marilyn if he was gay already?

“I was with Marilyn last year. We’ve only been going out for a week or so. Anyway, I went to my friend’s party alone, I thought one drink wouldn’t change me that badly but it got out of control. The next thing I remember, I was sprawled out on the couch, naked with a guy that I was flirting with that night.”

“Can I ask you…why do you change? And holy cow, I bet she was furious when she found out!” I exclaimed.

“Well for the question, alcohol gives me the strength to do what I don’t...well, won’t normally do. Even my personality is distorted and I guess my “evil side” comes out to the surface. Yeah I know, it’s a pathetic analysis but it’s been happening to me since I first drank alcohol. But I can’t give up that sense of freedom and catharsis that comes with it. Anything that could be bothering me while I’m sober comes out when I’m drunk.”

I simply nodded, not knowing what to add.

“And as for Marilyn, she wasn’t always like this. When we first entered UCLA, the girl I met was sweet and kind-hearted. But then Elena transferred here; they always had this rivalry since high school  and that just pushed her a bit.” He laughed bitterly at the memory. “I thought that by dating her, I could change my sexuality but I couldn’t really handle her bipolar moments anymore. So that day of the party, I just wanted to have some fun, I didn’t know it was gonna hurt Marilyn but I guess it did.”