The crossdressing vilainess

Chapter 5 part 2

Here is the story for all you really bored souls out there. If you dont have a soul then...........Also, you've all probably heard a version of this story because to tell you the truth, Lyre isn't very imaginative.

"The king and queen named their daughter, Briar Rose."

"You named her after a plant," Raven said with an 'I am so done' face. Then he sighed, "at least it's not Snow White. That's probably the worst name. I mean, why not just call her Dirt Brown while you're at it."

"You're named after a bird," and I'm an instrument.......

"But their just nicknames!"

"Do you have a better name?" Lyre shot back. She actually didnt care what their name was. They weren't her actual characters, after all.

"Course I do. How about, Handsome Raven."

"That's worst than Snow White, I think Ugly Raven is better, or how about Fat Raven. Pretty descriptive if you ask me."

"Hey! I'm not fat!"

"Never said you were," Lyre then jumped back into the story without waiting for a reply,"They held a huge celebration in honor of their first, and only child."

"Wow, I guess they weren't very proactive in bed," Raven commented.

Lyre ignored him and continued, "They invited all the fairies in the kingdom-"

*whistles* "they must be hella rich! How much do you think I'll be able to borrow it I go there?"

"None, when the fairies saw the baby. They were awe struck."

Raven raised an eyebrow.

"Awe struck at how a child could be so ugly."

"That's definantly you," Raven said with much conviction.

"At least I become more gorgeous as time passes. You however......get uglier by the second."

"You sure you didn't get it switched up?"

"Yes, I'm very sure. Anyways, those kind fairies didn't want to mention how ugly the baby was and so they decided to give her 'gifts' out of 'good will' when in reality they simply couldn't bare to have such an ugly baby living in this kingdom."

"Damn are they kind, I would ve at least asked for more money."

"And so the six fairies gave the baby gifts.

The gifts were beauty, grace, song, goodness, wealth-"

"Which fairy have her wealth? I must meet her!"

"But before the last fairy could give her gift, another fairy popped out of nowhere.

'I have come here to see the ugly girl as I've been told,' the old fairy croaked."

"No wonder you sounded like a dying frog. But it wouldn't be strange if it was your true voice. I mean, it would match your appear-"

'What ugly baby are you talking about?!' the King exclaimed angrily. 

'First you refuse to invite me, then you yell at me? Can't this old -but gorgeous- woman have a break?' Mathilda, the old ha- fairy grumbled."

"Lyre's talking to himself......he's finally going senile," Raven said blandly.

"At least I don't stare at my reflection and mutter compliments while looking at myself with that love stricken look," Lyre shot back, "So are you going to listen to the story or not?"