Let Me Show You How to Love Yourself (Larry Stylinson) ✅

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"Hey, Liam?" Zayn called, walking into the empty apartment. Harry had texted him that he was spending them morning over at Louis' and Niall's, so he wasn't expecting him to be home. But Liam hadn't told him he was going out somewhere. Usually on Saturday mornings, he preferred to stay in and make a traditional English breakfast or American pancakes, depending on his mood. He called it 'brunching on a budget.'

"Li?" Zayn called, opening the door to his boyfriend's room. The room was empty, and when Zayn looked closer, the majority of his stuff was gone too... nearly all his drawers were empty, and his desk, which was normally neat and organized with multicolored post it notes, files and alarm clock, was completely bare except for a tiny pink piece of paper in the middle of it. Zayn picked it up and tried to decipher the tiny, cursive handwriting.

I can tell when I'm not wanted. Leaving. Please take care of Harry. -Liam

Zayn felt himself start to get dizzy with fear and anxiety as he read the note, grabbing on to Liam's desk to steady himself. When he had told Liam he needed time to think, he didn't mean that he should move out. It had been pretty harsh what he said to him, about his stability and all. But he didn't mean it -- at least not entirely. Liam had to know that right?

Hands shaking, Zayn hopped up onto Liam's bed and gave his cell phone a ring. It went right to Liam's business voicemail in which he said: "Hi, you've reached Liam Payne of Klein Associates. Please leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you at my earliest convenience." Zayn shook his head and tried again... and again. Still no answer. He tossed his phone down on the bed and plopped down next to it, his stomach churning. Liam could be extremely destructive when he was upset, and he didn't want to think about what he might be doing right now.

Zayn turned onto his stomach, his face landing on Liam's pillow. It smelled like him, a mixture deep cologne and hand sanitizer. Fuck, Zayn thought. What have I done?

Just as he felt he was about to start crying, he picked up his phone again with a strong desire to talk to someone. Not Harry -- he had enough to deal with. But Niall... Niall had to be around. And he was so cheery and positive all the time. He could handle this.

"Hello?" Niall said in a muffled tone upon answering the phone. "Hey, Niall," Zayn said quietly. "Sorry to call you randomly. But I kind of need to talk about something important."

"Is it about Harry? He okay?" Niall asked, his voice becoming more clear. "Sorry, love. I have to take this, Soph." Zayn felt a pang of jealousy at Niall's relationship with his girlfriend... he and Liam were anything but in love right now. Christ, he didn't even know where Liam was.

"Um, no. Harry's fine. He's with Lou, actually. I just... I thought you were home. Sorry to interrupt your time with your girlfriend," he stammered, fully intending to end the conversation and leave Niall to hang with his girl. But the feelings came flooding in, hitting him like a truck, and he clutched his stomach on the bed, unable to contain his emotions. "It's just.... Liam and I got into this huge fight, and he left. And I don't think he's coming back. He left me a note saying to take care of Harry... and honestly, I don't know if I can even take care of myself right now... and he won't answer his calls..." he blurted out, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Hey," Niall said softly. "Hey, mate. I'll be right over. Alright? It's gonna be okay, lad." Zayn nodded, forgetting that Niall couldn't see him and then clicked the phone off, balling his knees up to his chin and moaning softly.
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"Zayn?" Niall called, knocking on the door. He waited a few seconds, but there was no answer, so he texted Zayn: "here @ door." A few seconds later, Zayn appeared at the door, ruddy eyed with a red nose.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. I was listening to music. Helps," he said softly. He led Niall into the living room and Niall took a seat in Harry's usual spot, crossing his legs as he studied Zayn.

"So let's talk. How you holding up?" Niall said, his thick Irish accent causing Zayn to feel a teeny bit less sad. Zayn took a seat next to Niall, feeling a bit embarrassed about how vulnerable he was being. Niall was a tough guy, and he didn't want to come off as an emotional wreck. He took a deep breath and tried to compose himself.

"I'm okay. I just.. I feel so abandoned. So betrayed. But I guess it's my fault. I told him he was too mentally unstable to be in a relationship," zayn admitted, putting his face in his hands. Niall put a strong hand on his back, patting it lightly. "It's okay, Zayn. That's really rough, if I'm being honest. But I'm sure you didn't mean that," he said reassuringly, his blue eyes connecting with Zayn's brown ones.

Zayn shot Niall a guilty look. "Well...." he said. "I did a little bit. He's been so damn touchy lately. He's always angry and he's been meddling in Harry's life— you heard what he did to Louis right? It's unacceptable. And he didn't tell me about any of it. He keeps on keeping secrets. And I'm so tired of it." Niall looked at Zayn with wide eyes. "Sounds like this has been going on for a while, yeah?" He said softly. "And yeah I heard he freaked on Louis. Good thing nothing serious happened..."

Zayn nodded. "He has anger issues. But that's not an excuse. He was going to therapy and it got so much better until Harry came home... I think Harry is a trigger for him. The bloke just makes him crazy," Zayn said, his tongue thick with envy. "I mean we all care about Harry and want to take care of him. But Liam turns it into a competition. It's like he wants to help him the most.... but Harry isn't his. Harry's his own person. Sometimes I feel like there's not enough room in his heart for both me and Harry...."

Niall nodded, running a hand through his chestnut hair. "Yeah, I agree. The level of attachment Liam has to Harry looks unhealthy," Niall admitted. "Zayn, listen. I think this break is gonna be valuable for you. Because based on what you've told me, you and Liam haven't been in a great place in a long time. Your needs are important too— not just Harry's. I think you should reflect and see if Liam has really been treating you right. Don't get too down, lad. He left, but it's not your fault. He hasn't been himself — anything could have drove him over the edge."

Zayn looked at Niall in awe, surprised that such a deep conversation came out of such a carefree guy. "Yeah... I think I'll do that, Ni," Zayn said, putting a hand on Niall's strong back. "You're right. He hasn't treated me right. I just hope he's coming back..."

Niall nodded understandingly. "He will mate. Trust me he will," he said with a smile. Zayn nodded, hoping he could trust the peppy boy next to him. For the most part, he felt he could, but there was still one more fear lingering in the back of his head. And it had nothing to do with Liam.

"Niall. There's one more thing though. And it's awful to admit," he said softly, looking into Niall's deep blue eyes. "It's Harry. I — I can't take care of him on my own. I'm awful at it. When I'm alone with him, I usually break down and let him get away with eating less just because he whines. Liam always keeps me grounded and strict with the rules. I don't want him getting worse..."

Niall shook his head quickly. "Don't think that'll be a problem, mate. Louis will help you," he said with a grin. "They're hitting it off great. It's so sweet. Don't tell Harry I told you this, but Louis told me he got him to go to a fusion restaurant and he ate his whole meal. Purge free."

Zayn's face lit up, a smile spreading across his soft lips. "That's incredible. He hasn't been to a restaurant with friends in years," zayn gushed. "Oh my god, thank the lord Louis is helping him. Thank you, Niall. You're so helpful too. I swear, my life has been falling apart lately."

"No problem, mate," Niall replied, standing up. "So what do you say we get some brunch? I'm starving and the Love birds are still canoodling at my place or else I would cook you one of those American wonders. What do they call them? Omelettes. The things you can do with eggs..."

Zayn smiled, getting up and jogging after Niall. "Sounds like a plan, mate. Let's go," he said, locking the door and leaving behind the memories of his dying relationship behind in the empty flat.