Confessions

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"Mmm, so cozy," Harry cooed. He was cuddled up with Louis on the couch, watching a cheesy romantic comedy movie as the two boys snuggled closely under a wool blanket. "Yes, very cozy. You comfy like this, love?" Louis asked with a soft smile. Louis was positioned behind Harry as the big spoon, hugging Harry tightly against his chest as he stroked his long hair. Louis felt warm and strong against Harry's back and he tried his best to control his excited breathing.

"Yea, I like little spoon," Harry lied, knowing quite well that he preferred big spoon, but was too anxious about his torso being all pressed up against Louis' back. But Harry didn't really mind at this point, because he truly was comfortable and absorbed in Louis' embrace. "Okay, let me know if you want to change or if I do something that makes you uncomfy," Lou cooed as he continued to stroke Harry's long locks.

About twenty minutes later, towards the end of the movie, Harry started to drift off to sleep, his face softening around the eyes and his lips parting slightly. Lou watched Harry's still, angelic face as his chest slowly rose and fell. Lying there in his arms, Harry was just so beautiful... so peaceful.

Louis didn't want to wake him, so he waited until the movie had ended and then slowly got up, creeping around the side of couch and covering Harry up with the blanket. Upon feeling the blanket touch his skin, Harry lurched up off the couch in a panic, looking wildly around the room.

"What... what happened?" He said hoarsely. "Shhhhh. You fell asleep during the movie," Louis said, sitting down on the couch and rubbing Harry's arms up and down. "You're okay Hazza." Harry nodded and then sat upright on the couch next to Louis.

"What's wrong, Love? Do you want to go home?" Louis asked, looking at the worried expression on Harry's face. "No," Harry replied, shaking his head. He took Louis' hand and stroked it softly, trying to take in his surroundings. "I just was wondering if I could sleep with you. In your bed," Harry proposed innocently.

"Of course you can, babe," Louis replied, kissing Harry gently on the forehead. He grabbed Harry's soft hand and led him to the bedroom. "Get comfy and then I'll join you, love," Louis instructed, allowing the younger boy to climb into bed first. Harry nodded and jumped in, sprawling out on the king sized bed and then rolling towards the right side.

Louis joined him on the left side, his arms still at his sides as he contemplated cuddling Harry. "Haz?" He asked quietly, as Harry settled his head onto the pillow and began to close his eyes. "Can I hold you?" Harry nodded, sleepily, and rolled towards Lou, allowing him to grab his waist with gentle hands. Harry was surprised to find that he didn't feel anxious from Louis' touch, but soothed and comfortable.

"Mm, Lou. That feels good," Harry murmured, nestling his head into the crook of Louis' neck. Louis stroked his hair, smiling as he felt himself drift off to sleep alongside Harry.

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Harry woke up to the sound of his stomach grumbling. In rehab, he had eaten breakfast each day at 8am— and now it was 10am. This had been happening a lot lately when he tried to sleep in, as his body was programmed to eat at the same time. He groaned and rolled over, hoping he wouldn't wake up Louis.

"Harry?" Louis whispered, opening his bright blue eyes. Harry looked up to find Louis staring back at him from across the bed — shirtless. He started to get up, rubbing the stubble on his face gently, and then realized his shirt was off, as were his pajama pants. "Harold did you undress me in my sleep?" He asked in horror, jumping up to look for his clothes.

Harry shook his head and giggled, wrapping himself into the cream sheets as he studied Louis' muscular body. "I think you probably got too hot and took them off in your sleep. But Maybe you don't have to get dressed," Harry said, raising an eyebrow. Louis laughed and flashed a smile at Harry, who looked like a caccooning caterpillar under the covers.

"Alright? Why though?" He asked, an uncomfortable feeling filling his stomach. Harry, still bundled, got up and moved towards Louis, motioning for him to lay back down. Then, in one swift motion, he threw off the covers and climbed next to Louis, covering his exposed torso with kisses. "You're so beautiful, Lou," he cooed, working his way from his collarbone down to the little trail of hairs under his belly button. Louis let out soft moans in response, his back arching as Harry coated him in soft, sensual kisses.

When Harry slid a hand into Louis' boxers, Louis removed it quickly. "I'm sorry love, but I don't want you to please me until we're both able to please each other equally. Okay?" Louis said, though part of him really wanted to allow it. Harry nodded, frowning at the floor. "Just not sure I'll ever be ready for you to touch me," Harry said slowly.

"Well, I Can try and help," Louis said slowly, nervous he might be overstepping. "How?" Harry asked, furrowing his brow. "Well What parts of you do you not want me to see?" Louis questioned.

"Um... my tummy, my thighs, my hips. Basically my whole middle and my legs," Harry said, shrugging as though he was unsure, even though he was 100% certain.

"Okay, so just try something. Try touching me in those places," Louis said, taking a deep breath as Harry began to gently rub his lower torso, slinking his way down to his waist and then his legs. Louis, feeling 20% insecure and 80% turned on, looked up at Harry with shining eyes.

"How did I feel?" louis asked quietly. "Mmm," Harry said, parting his lips. "So good. You're legs are hard and muscular, and you're soft and smooth around the middle. So sexy. Gets me hot." Louis felt himself blush. No one had ever described him as sexy before... at least not in a long while.

"Thank you love. Now touch yourself in those places and tell me what you feel. Only if you want to of course," he said slowly, hoping this exercise would work. Harry carefully pulled the blanket over himself so Lou couldn't see as he stroked his body with a trembling hand.

"I... um. I feel hard, mostly. Not bony anymore, but not soft," he said as his hand ran over the sharp edges of his hips and his lean thighs. Louis nodded. "Yes, Love. You're still very thin. You have hardly any softness, that's why you need to gain a bit more," Louis said quietly, wishing he could just show Harry what he looked like through his eyes, even it were just for a few seconds.

"I... yeah. I guess you're right. We feel different. But I think you're sexy even though you're softer than me.... but I still don't feel sexy. Even though logically I can feel the thinness," Harry said, a look of confusion spreading across his face. Louis shrugged. "But at least you recognize that now. You just have to train your mind into believing it," Louis said, planting a kiss on Harry's forehead. "There's no rush babe."

Harry nodded slowly. But this wasn't enough for him... and he knew it probably wasn't enough for Lou. "Lou, I'm so tired of this, though. I want to just try now to be comfortable," he whined. Louis raised an eyebrow. "Babe, I'm not gonna push you," he said quietly, resisting the urge to undress Harry and make love to him on the spot.

Harry took off his thermal under the covers, immersing himself like a deep sea dive and then shooting back up, shirtless. Louis bit his lip to suppress a low moan as he saw Harry's collar bones emerge from the blankets, followed by his hard chest and his chiseled stomach. "Darling, you look amazing," he whispered, maintaining his distance.

Harry jumped up and walked to the bathroom quickly, shouting a soft "thank you" over his shoulder. Louis nodded and slowly followed after Harry, watching his curls bounce along his shoulders.

He watched carefully as Harry stood in the bathroom mirror, inspecting his torso, and pulling at pieces of skin with his long fingers. He took a step backwards to do the same with his legs, but Louis ran over to him, using his arms to prevent him for body checking further.

"Harry, please stop. I'm sorry I pushed you too far, Love," he said. He had been holding Harry's shirt, and now he handed it to him to put back on. Harry's eyes filled with tears and he shook his head, throwing the shirt to the floor and burying his head into Louis' shoulder.

"I'm sorry I can't do this for you," he whimpered. "Can't be this for you." Louis took a step backwards, gently cradling Harry's sharp jaw in his hands. "Look at me love," he said, peering into his deep blue eyes. "I'm not going anywhere. This is going to take a while. And I'm completely okay with that. Alright, honey?"

Harry nodded, trying to wipe his tears away as he hugged Louis. Then, he whispered something softly into the older boy's ear, causing Louis' eyes to widen and his hands to shake. "Lou," Harry breathed, squeezing his shoulders tightly. "I think I love you."

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