The Broken Melody [malexmale]

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Settling into a new routine was... odd.

I no longer woke alone to my alarm, or before it, and went through an empty house, met up with a homeless kid outside and shared a breakfast of protein shakes and protein bars until we went our separate ways for the day and met up again for dinner.

Now, I woke up to the smell of homemade breakfast cooking, the sound of Alek and Jacques chattering away as if the whole world around them didn't exist. I got up and showered, went downstairs to eat. Sometimes Kieran would share breakfast with us, other times, he was outside in his garden.

That morning, I woke up later. Alek and Jacques were already finished and in the living room, making jewelry and talking animatedly about some film series I didn't recognize. Kieran was out in the garden by the time I got to the kitchen. My plate was already prepared and a big steaming hot mug of coffee awaited me. I sat down at the table, choosing the chair that faced the yard.

I sat down and stared out at the garden.

The flowers, the fruits and vegetables, the garden ornaments, were all beautiful as they glistened in the morning sunlight, but for some reason, my eyes weren't drawn to them. Instead, they were glued to Kieran, who was watering his tomato plants. He stood perfectly against the sunlight that seemed to make him glow. His hair was pulled up into a half ponytail, a pair of sunglasses sitting on top of his head. He wore short khaki shorts, revealing long slender legs, his bare feet flush with the bright green grass. His gauzy white tank top stuck to his skin with the humidity.

Something about him was delicate, fragile.

And it was more than just the way he looked.

Last night, when he'd looked at me, when I'd told him I killed people and that I was used to it, something about the way he looked at me wasn't scared, at least, not of me. He was scared that there were people out there who deserved it. People so far gone that not even he could help them. It scared him that there were people he couldn't fix. And I wondered, if that made him afraid that he couldn't help me.

And then I wondered... why the fuck did I think I needed help?

Well, let's see...

I grimaced before I could let my subconscious make a lengthy detailed list.

I wasn't stupid. I had issues. A lot of issues. But why work through them now? Centuries after everything had happened. I had survived long enough. I could continue to do so, without digging up unwanted memories. I didn't need to do that to live.

And yet, things had fallen apart when I tried to make them normal. That's what I wanted; a normal life. I had tried to make it work with Fiona, really. She was perfect. Everything about her had been wonderful. She was beautiful, smart, family-oriented. She wanted the same things I did; to have a family and be normal.

But it hadn't worked, because I wasn't normal.

Me. As a person. I was not normal. Or at least, I wasn't the normal I wanted to be.

Kieran was convinced that I was normal, that I could be normal. But it wasn't the normal I wanted. It wasn't the normal I'd seen growing up. It was a different normal. Did that even make sense?

I pinched the bridge of my nose, annoyed at myself, and it only grew as I looked up at the same time Kieran was coming inside. He was sweaty, loose strands of hair falling in his face, sticking to his flushed cheeks. His skin, usually so pale, so light, was flushed with a rosy tint. Immediately my body reacted to him. The sight of his pinkened skin, the sweat rolling down his neck and disappearing down his chest. The scent of him, floral and sweet.