Pride {l.s.}

85- Pride Parade

The Story

Louis Tomlinson denied his sexuality due to childhood experiences involving conversion therapy and family pressures. Louis ran into Zayn Malik and college. They opened up an art gallery together, Mind of Mine. Louis met Harry Styles along with his friends, Liam Payne and Niall Horan. Harry helped Louis come to accept himself while Louis helped Harry confront his mental health. Love came in colors for these two boys, leading up to their eventual proposal. Their friends, Liam and Zayn, get caught up in the tragic shooting that occurred in June of 2016 at the Pulse nightclub. Overcoming hate with love and pride is a start for this friend group as they confront the reality of hate crimes against their romances because love is love.

Zayn seems pretty zoned out when Liam and him walking into our apartment. Liam has a little hop in his step, but Zayn is at a much lower level. His smile feels strained even as he takes a bite of one of Harry's chocolate chip cookies.

"Harry, you've been making these cookies nonstop for like two weeks," Liam mentions with a laugh, but there's a hesitation. We all know the real reason that Harry is baking so much of Liam's favorite cookies. There's still a silent fear of everything slipping away.

"This place has been smelling heavenly for those two weeks," I reassure Harry with an added kiss. His been tense ever since the shooting. It feels like the whole city has been. The news has barely faded about the shooter. We tried to ignore most of that information.

We look more towards those lost. We all donated blood following the shooting and sent as much money as we could spare to anyone who could help the victims and their families. This situation makes me realize that everything is so much bigger than just my little world. There are large effects that come from these situations that are bigger than any of us.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," Zayn mumbles before slipping out of the conversation. Even as he walks down the hallway, he looks small. He's not actually that small of a person in terms of height and all, but it's the way he's holding himself. It worries me.

I decide to give Zayn a minute before I make any sort of intervention. The conversation between us revolves around the excitement of the day as we wait for Cheyenne and Niall. I can barely focus. My mind feels stuck on the emptiness on Zayn's face.

"I"m going to go check on Zayn," I tell them briefly as I swipe one of the temporary tattoos that are sitting on the table for today's events. I knock lightly on the bathroom door before Zayn opens it. He stands before me with that continued empty look in his eyes, and he knows that I can see it.

"Sorry for taking so long in the bathroom," Zayn tries to explain. "I'll get out of your way-"

"I figured that you might want help getting your tattoo on," I suggest. I lift the small piece of paper with the tattoo on it to show him. Zayn nods his head before he turns back into the bathroom. He hops up on the counter and waits while I wet a washcloth. I peel off the clear plastic before applying the temporary tattoo to his cheek.

"I'm sorry for acting weird today."

I shrug my shoulders. "It's okay, Z. It's a weird day for all of us."

"It's just... We were in such a different situation even just a couple weeks ago. Everything feels different."

"Maybe that's not a bad thing."

"How so?" Zayn asks.

"How can change ever occur if these situations never change?" I offer another option compared to everything staying the same. "I think that Pulse was a wake-up call for a lot of people. The world needs more wake-up calls."

Zayn simply nods his head. I take off the washcloth and gently peel back the paper to reveal colorful stripes on his cheek.

"Does this remind you of-" Zayn starts to say, but I already know exactly what he means.

"Yeah, it does remind me."

Zayn and Liam head down to the street below to meet Cheyenne and Niall. I look out the window to see Niall is completely decked out in a rainbow-striped suit. I don't even know where he got it from, but I don't complain. We need allies, and I'm so lucky that I have so many good friends that are.

"You ready, baby?" Harry wraps his arms around me, and I lean back. We both look out onto the colorful scene in the street below with a feeling of pride and hope along with sadness for the people who couldn't come.

"I looked into it, and remember when I said that Van Gogh ate yellow paint to be happy?" I ask Harry randomly. The thought has been on my mind since I read an article about him. "The paint was toxic. He ate it because he wanted to die. Doesn't wanting happiness sound better than wanting death? We like to make things look better than they are just for our own benefit."

Harry spins me around and holds me just close enough to him that he can still see my eyes. "Louis, you were right the other night. This tragedy has been all we've both been thinking about for too long. We need to love again. We're getting married for goodness sakes, Lou!" A smile finally comes to my face. "That's better. I know that you've been comforting Zayn, but you need to listen to your own words. Move past what has happened but never forget."

I nod my head. Harry pulls me in for a hug. I stay there for a moment, in the place where I have always felt the safest. In the arms of the man I love.

"Okay," I agree quietly.

"And as for the yellow paint," Harry replies to my earlier comment. "There was this Doctor Who episode with Vincent Van Gogh in it, and he meets the Doctor. It's the best episode there's ever been. There's a line in it that has stuck with me."

"Which would be?"

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things," Harry quotes to me with love. "The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant."

I nod my head. I like those words a lot. I look back out at the street, and I know that I do need to move past this too. I don't plan on ever forgetting, but there comes a time where a person has to grow from what they see and learn.

"It's okay to change," I agree.

"It's a sign of the times, love," Harry reassures me before he swoops down for one more kiss. He holds me in his arms for one final hug before we get ready to head down.

"I don't think that this pride parade will be as good as the last one," I comment jokingly once Harry and I let go of each other. I see the flag on his back, and I know that everything is going to be okay.

"I think that the pride parades will only get better each year with you by my side."

Harry slips his hand into mine as he leads me down to the party that will go all night. My mind feels trapped for a moment in which the green-eyed boy with the colorful cape pulled me through the crowded streets as fireworks went off overhead.

There will always be regrets in life. It's inevitable, but I can say with full confidence that I have no regrets for kissing Harry Styles in front of that protest because love is love at the end of the day.

I take pride in knowing that, and I take pride in loving him but most importantly, myself.

THE END 

A/N

This is the last chapter! Possible sequel???

I will be doing a Q&A at the end. Please either message me with questions or comment here!

I am also thinking about writing a low key Larry fanfic for fun after this one. Any suggestions or requests?

xoxo Claire