The Chord to my Heart

22: Just Let Me Go

                                                                22: Just Let Me Go

           "Are you sure you're okay? You seem kind of tense," Scarlett said. I still couldn't shake the ruthless feeling messing with my insides. Tracy's words were causing chaos in my head, ripping at the raw flesh.

           "I'm fine," I assured her, giving her a small smile. I averted my gaze back down to my untouched food. The lunch bell rang, dismissing us to our next class.

           "You're obviously not fine. Does this have to do with Mase?" she asked as we both stood.

           "Look, I'll explain later, okay? I have to get to class," I said, giving her a quick hug.

           "All right, I better hear from you soon," she said. I nodded before turning to leave.

           Time was running low, escaping through my enclosed fists while I walked towards the Art room. My hands were empty now, as I stood just outside the door.

           When I walked in, I saw was Tracy. Her eyebrow was arched, a knowing smile playing on her lips. She watched me from her seat, wondering what I would do next. Her gaze flickered towards the back table where Mase sat.

           The pen in his hands moved smoothly along the pages of his notebook. His eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated on the words spilling from his fingertips, stumbling across the page. He looked up then, catching my gaze with his. A smile formed on his lips, one that had become so familiar to me in the past few months.

           I memorized the look in his eyes and perfect curve of his lips. Because I wasn't sure if he'd ever look at me like that again. Not after what I was about to do.

           I dropped my gaze, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath before walking towards the empty table just behind Tracy. I put my book bag in the work station next to me, where Mase should have been sitting. I ignored the shouting in my brain, telling me to hold on to Mase for as long as he'd let me.

           With my elbows on the table, I put my face in my hands and waited for Mase to approach me. Just then, I heard the footsteps. The chair scraped on the floor next to me as he sat down.

           "Hey, you okay? Why are you sitting here today?" he asked, running his fingertips along my spine.

           "I'm fine. I just need some time," I said, loud enough for Tracy to hear. I hated giving her the satisfaction of putting distance between Mase and me. But the moment I knew how, I'd get her back for it.

           "Did something happen?" He leaned in closer, concern seeping into his tone.

           I peeked up at Tracy through my fingers. She was watching us, a disapproving look in her eyes. So I let out a long breath, dropping my hands in my lap. "I need some time alone," I said, not meeting Mase's eyes. This was hard enough without getting lost in those pools of concrete.

           "So let's leave then. I'll take you home," he said, his hand still running up and down my back.

           "I don't want to go," I said, shaking my head. And as my heart beat got louder and the tremble in my hands grew more violent, I hoped that this goodbye wouldn't last forever.

           "Then I'll take you somewhere else. Just come with me," he whispered, scooting his body closer to mine.

           "That's just it though. I don't want to go with you. I can't do this anymore," I said, clearing my throat to stop the emotions from suffocating me.