Rekindle

Chapter 12 (Alister)

After my shower, I lie on my back across the floor. My shoulder blades are stiff and tight.

Barrick is currently showering, and Ridley sits on the bed nearest my feet.

"So, Alister. You never really told me why Lord is after you. Is it really that big of a secret?" She pokes my shin with her toe.

For a moment, I just stare at her. Should I tell her? She has a right to know; she's been trustworthy this whole time.

I sigh. "Mavis found out about my plans."

She scoffs. "You've already told me that. What are your plans, though?"

"I'm going to kill myself." I say flatly.

"What?" She stands abruptly. "Why?"

I force myself not to look at her. "A lord can only exist if the Bane is alive. If I'm dead, the current lord dies too. The future lords are also prevented from existing. Problem solved."

Ridley glares at me for a long moment, then throws her hands up in frustration. "How can you be so calm about this? Don't you value your life?"

"No. I don't." I say it without thought. Since Kindling, I've felt no enjoyment to be alive.

Her eyes soften at my confession. "O-oh. Well, I'm sorry to hear that." They harden again. "But that doesn't give you the right to just kill yourself! Where's the honor in that?"

"The Bane isn't an honorable being. I'm not meant to be looked up to."

"And why is that?"

"Because the lord's job is to warp your minds. You're supposed to believe they are the righteous leader." I already know what her next argument will be.

"That's a lie. Lord is--"

"Doing her job right. You all are under the influence that she's a hero. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Do you remember what I told you in the woods?"

She thinks for a moment. "You said your job was to eliminate Lord."

"Correct. Do you know why?"

Rays of light pass over her eyes. Tears are welling in their corners. "No," she murmurs, barely audible.

I pull myself to my feet and place myself across from her on the opposite bed. Now she understands how serious I am.

"Ridley. What did she tell you the reason was for being assassins?" I keep my voice low and calm, noticing that she's getting worked up.

"What do you mean? They were just missions from greedy people who wanted inheritance."

I should have known they were being lied to. "What if I told you all those people were suspected by Mavis to be the Bane?"

A single tear runs down her cheek. "I wouldn't have believed you a week ago. But...but if she ordered us to kill potential Banes, then why is she trying to keep you alive? That's just contradicting."

A good point. "Let's put it this way: she realized everything she could do with me if she could have me under her finger. Hence the experiments and taking my emotions."

Ridley shoots me a look. "Why do you always say it like that?"

"What?"

"You act like being emotionless isn't a big deal."

In all honesty, I really don't remember what it was like with my emotions. I tell her just that.

Bad choice. She stands quickly and clumsily, throwing herself onto the side of the bed where I sit. Heavy sobs erupt from deep within her chest.