Fixing Her (ON HOLD)

✔️[4]Words From Her.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!

EDITED!

~.~.~.~

By the end of the class, I was done with school, I was done with everything really but school I was definitely done with.

Especially after the thing that happened in the cafeteria which really wasn't a big deal but obviously it was to everyone else.

"Hey," the guy from earlier who I still don't know the name of smiled at me.

"I'm Daniel by the way."

I kept my head down, not wanting to converse in any way, shape or form, I just hope he understands that.

"I see you don't talk much..." he trailed off, I just want him to leave before I make him disgusted with me even more and maybe even make him a little depressed.

"So Jamie..."

I snap my head up at him, eyes wide on high alert, how does he know my name?!

He seems to know what I'm silently asking as he chuckles at me softly before answering. "I asked one of my friends, they told me."

I nodded, approving his answer before continuing my long journey to my house. I'd say home but I'm not safe in there, never am and never will be.

"So where you going?"
"You ok?"
"What you up to?"
"Are you mute?"

Question after question, he kept asking me things which I simply shrugged off with an eye roll. After a while of him shooting pointless questions at me, I decide to speak for the first time in a month, maybe even more.

"Yes?" I whisper groggily, not used to talking after such a long period of time.

"What- you- Wait-"

"Go hang with your friend," I say softly, glancing over at his friends, as I do I see their shocked faces, probably because I'm actually talking. "They seem like they want to hang with you and it's better than just wasting your time on me."

I walk off, head down. Although I look up every once in a while to make sure I won't walk into someone. As I look up, I see that not only are Daniels friends shocked but so is the rest of the school that witnessed our encounter.

I sigh, yet again before putting my head back down, shoving my hands into my shallow pockets, my hands barely fit in them but they're all that I have.

When I got home I saw I was home alone, good, I couldn't deal with anyone today.

I talked. I actually talked. I haven't done that in such a long time! Oh god, this is going to be the gossip of the school tomorrow! I don't want that to happen but of course it is going to happen.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid me. Stupid Daniel. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Now everyone's eyes are going to be on me! Stupid!

I regret doing that! I need to punish myself for being so idiotic.

I ran up to my room and started my hunt. In the end, I trashed my room but it's fine because I found what I what I was looking for.

My blade. My sweet sweet blade.

I let it draw on me, that's the least I could do for what it does for me.

It brings me comfort, an escape, love. It brings me comfort as this is all I know, cutting is all I know. An escape as it lets me forget about all my problems, all my stress, just what my life is like in general. Love as it was my first yet only love, it lets me choose when I need a punishment or I'm just extra depressed, it doesn't push me like most people, it loves me and I love it.

One cut, two cut, three cut, four.

I smiled to myself, I feel relieved, I feel loved, I feel comforted.

"Jamie!" I heard someone scream from downstairs.

Oh shit.... dad was back!