"Brent bilisan mo!", sigaw ko sa labas ng CR. Lalaking tao ang tagal maligo. "Teka lang papi, tinatawag ako ng kalikasan!" he shouted back. I shook my head at umupo muna sa table dito sa loob ng dorm. Mapapa-double training ako nito kay Brent eh! Bagal-bagal kumilos.
Noong tapos na maligo at nakapagrelease na din si Brenty ng sama ng loob sa CR, dumiretso na kami sa Razon's para sa training. Kahit tapos na ang basketball season we're still required to train para hindi mawala ang condition ng body namin.
"Madaling-madali ka bro ah," sabi sa akin ni Brent at inakbayan pa ako. "Hahahahayop ka! Baka mamaya di ko na maabutan 'yung crushie ko doon," I rolled my eyes over him.
"Uy pre, seryoso... Taken na si Cobb!" pagpapaalala niya sa akin. "Kung ang mag-asawa nga naghihiwalay sila pa kaya?" I smirked at halatang gulat si Brent sa sinabi ko.
"What the fuck, bro?! Nahihibang ka na ba?" sigaw sa akin ni Brent at napatakip naman ako sa tenga ko. "Quit shouting, Brent!" I hissed at pumasok na lang sa elevator.
"Please pre, tigilan mo nalang si Cobb." He said. I shook my head at him, "Kayo nga ang nagp-push sa akin doon tapos ngayon papatigilin niyo ko? Seriously?" my eyebrow raised at napa-facepalam si Brent sa sinabi ko.
"Broski, those were the days noong akala natin single siya!" Brent said, he has a point though but it's not convincing so meh.
The elevator opened, tapos na ang training ng Lady Spikers and they're just having their cool down. Umupo muna ako sa bench at tinignan si Michelle sa di kalayuan.
Our training ended, at nagtext na naman si Josh sa akin. This time pumayag ako na samahan siya magsnacks sa cafeteria dahil wala naman akong pasok this morning.
I sighed, I'll probably fuck myself up infront of him later. Mag-iisang linggo na noong simula ko siyang iwasan, no phone calls and texts, no lunch together.
I have decided na kailangan tapusin ko na kung ano man ang meron kami. It'll be more complicated kapag pinatagal ko pa. Nagpaalam na ako sa team na mauuna na ako. Dumiretso ako sa dorm at naligo ulit. It's 8 am and the sun is already high.
I just wore a white plain shirt and high-waisted pants. I putted some powder and minimal tint on my lips because I look pale today. After that, I went to Agno dahil doon daw makikipagkita si Josh. I went inside at nakita ko na siya sa may usual spot namin. His smile went wide noong nakita niya akong papalapit sa kanya.
"Hi beautiful," He chuckled at niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit. And there, I know I was home again. Na-miss ko siya.
"I miss you." I mumbles at hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko, mas hinigpitan ko pa ang yakap ko sa kanya. I felt my tears flowing down to my cheeks and my heart is aching for the nth time.
"Hey, why are you crying?" Josh asked worriedly. He wipe off my tears and he tucked my hair at the back of my ear.
"N-nothing. I just m-miss you," I replied while stuttering. "Shhh, I'm here okay? Don't cry." his soft and warm voice made me feel I'm secure. I love the way he comforts me.
Umupo kami ni Josh at hindi ko pa din maipagkakaila na kinakabahan ako ngayon. I should end this, right? Pero bakit parang may pumipigil sa akin. Parang ayoko pa. Parang lahat ng sakit nawawala kapag kasama ko siya. This is all wrong.
We are all addicted to something that takes away the pain.
"J-Josh?" I look at him straight to his eyes.
"Yes?" He smiled sheepishly at me.
"What if I ask you to stay away from me. Will you do it?" I asked. My lips are trembling and so does my hands. Confusion was written all over his face.
"What made you ask that, Michelle?" His soft voice became firm and I can't look directly to his eyes. "W-wala. I just thought." I said and he lifted my chin up.
"Nope I won't leave you even if you push me away. Diba ganon naman kapag mahal natin ang isang tao? Hindi natin susukuan." His words made its way to my heart and it stab me so many times.
Tangina ang sakit.
"Don't ask me that question again, Michelle. It scared the shit out of me. I am afraid of being completely unraveled by you, Mich." his words lingered to my ears. I stayed quiet and didn't say anything. I was afraid to speak up.
After we ate together, we already bid our goodbyes. I went to the soccer field and sat on the bleachers. I cried and cried realizing how dumb I am. This isn't right anymore.
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