rosie
a smile spreads across my face as i see my gorgeous baby run into my room.
"how beautiful do you look in that dress babe?" i excitedly say as i pick vanesssa up and place her on my lap.
"i'm turning 5 tomorrow!" she says as she claps her hands together.
"and all of your friends will be coming for your birthday!" i kiss her on the forehead as i put her back down.
there was a silence for a minute.
"is daddy going to come this year?" she asks.
"i don't think so baby, i'm sorry." i say as i pull her into a hug.
i say i don't think so, when i know he won't. cameron hasn't met vanessa, he doesn't even know she exists. but i moved to LA after two months of cameron leaving me, to start a new life. i graduated from online school with a science and engineering degree and now i can supply for my baby without help from anyone else.
i did this for vanessa.
i haven't heard from cameron since he left other than the occasional 'i'm sorry' texts that came through.
but then they just stopped. i'm okay though, i cut off communication with him after they stopped for vanessa.
my dad on the other hand is still very supportive and proud but he does still live in chino hills. sometimes i wish i could just go back, but i can't.
cameron's there.
vanessa interrupted my thoughts, "does this mean i don't have to go to school tomorrow?"
i laughed and knelt onto the ground, "i'm sorry honey, but no. i have work and auntie leah will bring you home."
'auntie leah' is my best friend leah that i met at starbucks once and we had an instant connection. she has a babygirl of her own that's 2 years old and she's 21. she was caught up in the same situation as me and we just relate on that sometimes.
i'm glad i met her, she's taught me a lot.
however, i can't let anyone that's bound to hurt her around her because i can't have her hurt. but she found a new boyfriend a month ago and i'm seeing him for the first time tomorrow at vanessa's 5th birthday party..totally excited. but she has been telling me how he just might not be the one for her but it's whatever, i'll respect her.
"mummy, is it time for bed yet?" she says as she comes into my room yawning.
i jump up in realisation, "oh, yes! i'm sorry baby, i forgot."
i walk over to her and pick her up to take her to her own room. her room is across from him but there are 3 guest bedrooms. i don't want to brag but my job has been a blessing like who knew where a science and engineering degree can get you?
after dressing and brushing hair and teeth i finally lay her in bed.
"you need to get to bed babe, i'll tell you a story tomorrow night okay?" i say as i push her hair back
"okay mummy." she says.
"i love you baby." i say as i kiss her forehead.
"i love you too."
i watch her close her eyes and i look at her beauty for a while before i turn her night light on and walk out of her room.
i walk into my room and lay on my bed, i had recently moved from an apartment to this house meaning i still had boxes lying around.
now you would think i would just leave them there because i'm lazy-but i won't. i've changed. cameron's changed me.
everyday i want to go by hating him but i can't bring myself to it. i've dropped my feelings for him a year after he dropped me. but there's still a part that regrets moving away from him, stopping all communication and not giving him a chance to see his own daughter.
but why should i regret it? he's the one that lied to me and left me when i found out i was pregnant. do you know what that does to someone? the thoughts of killing myself were surrounding me for years but this is the year that i can finally think that my life is back on track.
however, i've been single for those 5 years and haven't been able to trust anyone. because if you can't trust the person you love, you can't trust anyone.
i guess thats just what the game of a player does to you.
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i hope you enjoyed the first chapter!
thank you for reading and don't forget to vote, have an amazing day❤️
