Eleven.

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Despite everything that happened since the beginning of the school year, Lauren believed that this was what hit her hardest.

She had lost some important people in her life already. Her grandmother. Alicia. Ari. And despite the fact that Dinah was still alive, Lauren was overcome with this feeling of isolation. When the call ended, something rushed into Lauren, sinking into her chest like an anchor. Lauren couldn't help it, feeling this overwhelming sensation of loss.

Dinah was alive, but she may as well have been dead. She was breathing, but in Lauren's world, she was gone. And nobody could fathom the reason why.

Dinah's leaving was a slap in the face to her, another reminder that the sensation of life was like standing in a house built out of sticks. The storms and winds would come, and most often the sticks would hold steady, but eventually at a completely random time everything would collapse.

Everything was collapsing.

So when the sobs burned their way up her throat, she let them come out. She let the tears run down her eyes, she let the cries echo through the house, letting the walls of her former friend's room chill at the sound - a silent, unspoken form of hypothermia.

Silence seemed to be the veil over most events going on in Lauren's life now. She had come to get to know their varieties - the silence of affection, the silence of not knowing what to say, the silence of shock, the silence of hate, the silence of death.

The silence of loss - it was something new she had to acquaint herself with. Before now, loss had been a lot louder, wrenched with the cries of those left behind, with attempts at nostalgia to forget the present, with denial, with barganing.

Maybe the only reason why everyone was accepting this so quickly was because there had already been so much that had happened before.

The floor had been open. Anything could have happened. And so Dinah abandoned them.

Even now, Lauren was silently asking herself why she was crying. She wiped the flow of tears with her t-shirt, but it wasn't enough. The loss had sucked the tears out of her like a well out of water, but the sobbing sounds, the crying remained.

Lauren didn't even hear that beside her, Mani was crying too.

-

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Camila asked over the phone. "I know it's been stressful for you and hasn't been long since Dinah left, are you sure you want to do this? Maybe you should just rest; we can spend the night at your house watching Netflix-"

"No, Camz. I want to take you out tomorrow. Honestly. I do. It's the one thing I've been looking forward to lately, our first date."

"Okay, Lolo. And you still wanna keep it a surprise?"

"Yeah. I'm excited to see how you react to it though, Camz. I hope you'll like it."

"I don't doubt that I will, Lolo. Any time I spend with you is time well spent."

"Be sure to dress warm though, okay? And random question but do you like fishing?"

"I like fishing." Camila giggled on the phone. "That was an incredibly random question but I like that. I lo-like the way your mind works. And I'll be sure to bring a jacket."

"Good. I'll pick you up tomorrow then!"

"See you tomorrow, Lolo."

They both made sure to hang up at the same time, and as she pressed the red button, Lauren sighed.

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