Lonely and Tired

Cereal Killers

"H-Hey," I stammered lost for words. He smelled divine. "I didn't expect you to be here."

I glanced at Val who gave me a Cheshire Cat grin. "Did I forget to mention I'd invited Brian? Whoops. I needed another man to even out the numbers." She and Cathy shared a look that made me want to slap them both. They were going to be trouble.

Brian smirked down at me. "Did you have a good week?" he asked knowing full well exactly how my week of exploring things to do in Orange County that did not involve Disney had gone. He'd pretty much heard every detail and suggested more than one activity to me. Not that Val and Cathy knew that, or I hoped they didn't, I'd tried to keep it quiet from Cathy just how much Brian and I had been in contact.

"It was great." I looked up at him through my lashes. It was then that I realised just how close to each other we were standing. I was about to take a step back when a small body pushed me aside. Harper had abandoned her tiny admirer and stood gazing up at Brian with an assessing look. She reached out a hand to touch his arm where his rolled up shirtsleeves revealed his tattoos. "Pitty..." she breathed in awe.

"Mommy! I want dis!" She pointed an imperious finger at Brian's arm.

"You want Brian?" Cathy asked and Jeff groaned.

Harper levelled Cathy with a disdainful look. Wow. There's nothing quite as scornful as a three year old judging you for your stupidity. "No. I want the pitty pictures."

"Jesus," Brian said in an undertone, "If I didn't know any better I'd think she was going to flay me alive."

"How do you know she's not?" I replied gamely suppressing my smile at his wide eyed look of horror.

"On me!" Harper demanded.

Brian looked relieved as he said, "Hey, that's not a problem. I'll introduce you to my guy."

"Brian!" the Greek Chorus of Matt, Val, Cathy and Jeff exclaimed. I laughed.

Val dumped a pile of child friendly foods onto a tray and called the children to follow her into the family room. She pulled the double doors closed behind her when she returned saying, "Right. Unless they murder each other we won't need to worry about them for a while."

"Probably not for twelve years or so," I offered, thinkingthat would be about the time Harper either grew boobs or graduated from cerealkiller to serial killer.

Jeff threw a suspicious look at Matt and said, "And then those boys had better remember that I know ways to kill a man that'll never show up on an autopsy if they mess with my princess."

Matt and Jeff both laughed but when Matt turned to grab Brian a beer from the fridge Jeff narrowed his eyes at him. I nudged Brian drawing his attention to the look on Jeff's face. We shared a smile that felt oddly intimate.

"Thank god I'll never have to worry about stuff like that," I said to Brian. His smile dimmed a little.

"Kids not part of your plan?" he asked.

"No. not really. Not at this stage," I tried to keep my tone light as I swallowed past the lump that had appeared in my throat as I forced down the memories of when children had very much been part of the plan.

We all went and sat in the living room with our drinks until dinner was ready. Val served the maple, pastry bacon things she'd had at the party as appetisers. I may have sent her a message begging her to earlier in the week. Jeff looked at her with an expression of eternal admiration as he popped one into his mouth.

Brian sat next to me but something was off. It wasn't the easy camaraderie from earlier. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't sulking he participated in the conversation, laughed even. It was just that he avoided looking at me. If I'd not spent the best part of Monday with him and hadn't spent the week talking and messaging him, hell if he'd not flirted with me when he first arrived, I may not have noticed anything. But I had, we had, and I did.