Squad Goals

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I scooped up a glob of beetroot dip on a carrot stick and popped it into my mouth as Val, Michelle and Cathy debated the pros and cons of cranberry, pomegranate, raspberry and merlot as colour choices. Matt was right, they were all just red although personally I was going to go for merlot. Every. Single. Time.

I let them go for it and contributed very little to the conversation because for one, I really couldn't give a shit about the colour differences they were debating and for another it was one of the single most uncomfortable afternoons of my life.

I'd escaped upstairs to shower and change because although I'd showered at Brian's I was wearing my beer and shot stained clothes from the night before. The aroma of Brian's cigarettes clung to my t-shirt and Brian cooties clung to my skin from when he'd kissed me before driving away.

I'd thought that maybe I could hide out in my room while Val and Michelle hung out with Cathy but Cathy had destroyed that plan when she'd marched up to my room and dragged me out telling me that Grandma McInerney would be horrified by the idea of one of her grand-daughters being inhospitable to guests. I'd tried to argue that they weren't my guests but Cathy was having none of it.

I was contemplating my most effective plan of escape when Michelle leaned in close and said in a low voice, "Just so you know I'm planning on junk punching Brian."

"Ummm. Why?"

"Why am I telling you or why am I going to punch him?"

"Both I suppose," I gulped at my mineral water.

"Well I guess they're both pretty much the same reason although I guess you need to be forewarned that you might want to get him to wear a cup if you have any further use for his boy bits. He promised me, swore to me that he'd made our situation absolutely clear to you." She dropped a slice of cheese on to a cracker, topped it with a sliver of sun-dried tomato and popped it into her mouth.

"Oh." That was it. That was all I could think of to offer her because clearly things weren't over with her and Brian. Clearly I was just an amusement on the side while they sorted their shit out.

"Steph, I like you. Hell I'm sure you could tell that I'm a huge fan of your work," she swallowed a sip of wine and soda.

Apparently she and Val had a child free day so they were taking advantage of it. Much to my relief because I don't think I could have handled meeting both Michelle and her and Brian's son, the children were with their grandparents. Harper's male harem had demanded her presence so Cathy was also child free. I was really happy that Cathy had the opportunity to be child free without having to rely on day care. Cathy's parents were in Texas as were her brothers, Jeff's parents were both in San Francisco and although they all visited regularly they weren't there for day to day help with Harper.

"I have to say that it really pisses me off that Brian has not made it absolutely clear that he and I are one hundred percent over. To quote Taylor Swift, we are never getting back together." Michelle scowl smiled at me. I'd never really seen that expression before but she pulled it off with panache.

"He did mention that," I gulped at my water wishing that I'd followed the girls' example and continued my descent into alcoholism by pouring wine as well as soda into my glass.

"Then why do you look at me as if you think I'm going to bash you over the head with a bottle of Pinot Grigio?"

"Maybe because my own experience of a marital breakdown hasn't been anywhere near civilised," I said.

"I seriously fucking hate Ashlee," she hissed, "Val, Cathy we all hate Ashlee right?"

"God yes!"

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