Quiet Rebellion - Phan

Daniel Howell & Phil Lester

Phil Lester. Dan's best friend. The town's local gay. Those was usually the thoughts that came to people's mind when they thought of Phil.

Daniel Howell. Phil's best friend. Quiet and shy - only loud when something has to do with big opinions. That was what came to mind when people thought of Dan.

Well, Phil wasn't even gay, he was bisexual. But in some random New York suburbs in the 80's, not many people were willing to accept that. Other than Dan and Phil, of course.

People could make fun of Phil all they wanted - and trust me, they did - and he would just give them the middle finger and walk away. Maybe that was what made Dan like him so much.

Or maybe it was that Phil was the only person he'd ever met who could beat him at Crash Bandicoot (even though Dan still usually won).

Or maybe it was that they'd been best friends ever since they were six and Phil and had moved into the neighborhood.

Or maybe it was because of that first kiss. The one that ended everything for Dan. When they were fourteen and Dan was staying over at Phil's house and they were talking with a movie playing in the background. Some sort of indie horror film that Dan had insisted would be great when he went through the whole 'indie horror film' phase. And then Phil randomly and unexpectedly leaned in and kissed Dan. Just like that. He'd changed Dan's life for ever and all he seemed to care about was the refill on popcorn. Like he'd been totally unfazed. Completely nonchalant. He didn't even bring up that he did it. Dan thought that maybe he'd dreamed it, except for the next day Phil had done it again.

Dan couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe it was all of those things. Maybe it was none of them. Maybe it was just Phil. And he couldn't help but like him so much because it was Phil Lester. And he didn't know how the rest of the universe didn't like him just as much as Dan did.

Or maybe it was that he wasn't supposed to like Phil. Not only because he was a closeted eighteen year old about to leave for college after the summer's end, living in a homophobic town surrounded by other homophobic towns. But also because he just wasn't supposed to like Phil. They were supposed to be friends. Friends who made out sometimes, but still just friends. Phil had set that preface when they had been newly minted fifteen year olds and they were kissing way more often than normal friends. He'd said that they'd just be friends as if it would be easy. And so far, it seemed like for Phil, it was easy. For Dan, not so much.

Maybe he was just too emotional. Maybe he was too sentimental. It would explain all the polaroid pictures he kept around even if they sucked. He couldn't let go of things. He always got too involved. He was always too much. To him, it was like he felt everything ten times more than the rest of the world did. And he hated it. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just be like Phil? Why couldn't he just not care so much about everything?

The phone started ringing and Dan instantly picked up up from its home on the kitchen wall, reaching from his seat at the counter.

"Howell residence, this is Daniel speaking" He always answered the phone formally, just as his father had always yelled at him to do. He used to just answer the phone and immediately ask if it was Phil on the other end. Apparently that meant World War III in the Howell household.

"Shut up, its just me" Phil was whispering into the phone.

"Why are you being so quiet?" Dan asked, suddenly whispering for a reason unknown to him.

"Well its the first Saturday night of summer break, 10:30 PM. That means your parents are out for the weekend visit to New York City that they've been planning for and my parents have finally fallen asleep. I'm about to sneak out through the window but I wanted to make sure you'd be home first." Dan could tell he was speaking close to the phone from how his voice sounded.