Chase You

38; the longest car journey

Although it was a funny thought to picture, I know that Ben didn't want to make a fuss over the silence I returned him with, so instead, we just sat once again in the silence we had become accustomed to. There wasn't any tension in the air, which I was thankful for, but that was akin to what I was used to with Ben, unlike how it was in school.

School.

Just the thought of it made me sick.

I really did wonder sometimes if, because of how I changed in school, Dad thought there was no use going camping with me anymore. It seemed like a silly concept at first, but if I thought about it more, it seemed only blatantly obvious dad's career change didn't add much to the fact we suddenly stopped spending so much time together.

There was only one other person to blame.

Was it fact I came out to him? I know it took him a while to process. However, I came out to him only three years ago. We'd stopped spending so much time together way before then.

It would seem silly to think that I'd outgrown him too much to go camping. He knew how much I liked to go, and so did my mum. Although she wasn't the biggest fan of spending a weekend outdoors and sleeping in tents, she loved to spend time with the family and see how happy it made me.

I groaned. What was the real reason behind all of this? Dad loved camping, especially with his closest friends and family, and he knew I loved it just as much.

What changed?

My brain was starting to hurt from all the thinking, but luckily, right as I was about to fall into the abyss of thinking about absolutely nothing, or worse, falling into these depressing deep thoughts, Ben's voice interrupted me.

"We're here." he announced quietly. My thoughts however, begged to differ. How I wish they'd be silent for just an hour at the very least.

The giant, familiar blue and yellow Ikea building momentarily made me a little excited. He pulled into the car park and found a space near the front, deciding to reverse in. I gave him another weak smile as he switched the car off, which he returned with a good, long kiss, as if he'd not seen me for weeks.

We got out the car, and I went over to the trolley's while Ben grabbed the strong, reusable bags from the boot for all the heavy items. He let me push the trolley, knowing fully well how much I liked to do so.

"Okay.. where first? How about kitchen?" He raised a brow at me, and I nodded back. He dumped the extra bags in the trolley and started walking in front towards the kitchen section, which just so happened to be the first section of the maze anyway.

"We don't need much because I have my stuff from last year." I said. He nodded and went over to the cutlery, picking up different sets and observing them, even practicing to use them, and then got a little too enthusiastic as his eyes caught upon the crockery, gently picking up different types and opening boxes. It looked like he was already picturing how he'd have his dream kitchen.

"What do you think of these?" He bought over a box and faced it so I could see the image of the whole set.

"It's nice but way too expensive." I muttered. "You're too reckless with money, you know that right?"

I still remember the day that idiot spent a whole months of earnings on a pre-booking for dinner for the two of us in one of the restaurants at The Shard in London. It was one of those posh places where you had to put a deposit down at least a month in advance and pay a hefty amount per head. Luckily, I caught him out on it a week after he booked it, and they gave him a full refund because it wasn't too last minute.