Moonshine Madness

Flashback P2

Flashback P2 Age 16
Mer's POV

And just like that, he was gone, leaving me alone on the blanket. This had been the first time we hadn't left that place together . I sat there for a while, thinking about what was going on. My first kiss , the very first one. I always imagined it being a fairytale like kind of kiss and to be honest I always thought Blake would be my first, and now that it happened I didn't know what to think.

Did he not think I was good enough for him after he kissed me. Was I not good enough for him?
I was never enough for him and it hurt so bad. It hurt so much it stung. I folded the blanket and put everything away and walked home. One of the longest walks I had had in a while.

" Honey , Are you okay ?" my mom called out to me when I attempted to get past the living room without being noticed.
" Yes," I said quietly as I walked to my room.

When I got to my bed , I started crying. It hurt so much and I don't know why it did. I loved Blake , Damn it I was in love with him and the fact that I wasn't good enough for him stung like hell.

"Honey are you sure you're okay ?" My mom said as she opened the door but I was breaking down. I couldn't respond, I just started crying and she ran to me.

"Honey, what's wrong ?" She asked. She asked this question about five times before I could even muster up some court to respond.
" Blake doesn't love me" I said vaguely
" Oh baby what  happened?" As she held me tighter.
I told her the whole story and she started laughing, something  unusual for my mom but I really needed her right now

" Blake's in love with you" she said  in a matter-of-fact tone. 
" Blake's been in love with you for the longest time" she continued
" Haven't you seen the way he looks at you or the way he can't seem to put words together around you,"
" He can actually speak properly but that boy has the shakes around you,"

I looked at her, If he loved me why did he distance himself from me like I didn't matter anymore. I just couldn't understand how someone who knew what my bathroom rug looked like or what my bedsheets looked like couldn't tell me if he liked me.

That night changed everything for me.  Me and Blake grew so distant as the school term went by.  No walks after school, no coming to my house to hangout and no visiting the lake. Imagine not being around someone you were used to be around most of the time. It was hard and the worst part is I got to see him at school. I got to see him with his friends, he used to look at me in the hallway as a way of acknowledging my presence but as time went on, It became less and less. I did try and talk to more new people but building the sort of friendship I had with Blake only happened in a lifetime. 

I hated not being able to call him anymore and just talk to him or complain about things. I guess he never missed that too because he never seemed like he was bothered by it. This had been our longest time without talking to each other and I feared it was the end of us and as days went on I was getting quite used to the idea that maybe we had to move on and drift apart.  Our parents tried meddling into our reconcilliation process but it never worked because we were both stubborn and unwilling to find common ground, we simply just avoided it. 

I wasn't all lost and sad. I invested my time into doing more things at school. I was more involved in the jazz band and helped tutor some of the kids who were struggling during my free time in the libary. I met two new people, Candice and Pete ,who I used to hang around with a lot  because they were totally different from me and that felt like a breath of fresh air.  Blake moved on too, He was the typical 'teenage' cool kid now, the ones that only hung out in groups and didn't invite anyone who wasn't like them into their social circle. And it's sad to say but I was getting more and more content everyday.  People are allowed to move on and it was time for both of us. 

Thank you for reading this. I appreciate it a lot