She determined that all good things really do come to an end as she sprinkled the last of the ashes into the large flowerpot they held yellow hibiscus seeds, Dinah's favorite flower. It was a beautiful flower and it was so Dinah. Bright and beautiful. She was excited for them to grow in.
Her heartache was dull now to thoughts of the Polynesian. Over the past few months since her fiancé's death she'd finally been able to take a day and finally come to the realization she was really gone (for the most part). She didn't know how much longer she could've gone if she kept telling herself she'd be back. The memory of Dinah's face when she saw her for the last time was engraved in her mind forever. She had looked so peaceful, it almost made Normani think she hadn't suffered.
They had been coming home from the airport. Dinah had just picked up Normani after six months of being away from each other. Ever since the opportunity, the name Normani was known by everyone. She was the fave of nearly every magazine and had a studio album coming out soon. Dinah had never been more proud of her and was completely ecstatic to see the girl and spoil her with greeting gifts. They were playing the guessing game, Dinah getting more and more excited not realizing just how fast she was going. She zoomed through a red light at the same-time someone was passing through a green. The car hit directly on Dinah side, breaking her arm. The impact caused a rib to crush making a small puncture in her lung. The driver had managed to block the air bag and save her girlfriend from anything to serious, but she did sport a nasty gash on her cheek and a broken elbow.
Dinah turned to face the ebony, tears spilling from her eyes as she took in Normani's face. She was out cold. The blonde disregarded herself and moved her injured arm from across the girl's chest to give her nudge, wincing at the small movement. "Mani." She yelled only for to come out in a forced whisper. It was then she realized how much pain she was in. "Fuck."
Normani groaned as she opened her eyes. Her heart nearly stopping at the sight of her girlfriend. She immediately let out a sob as her dream was a reality. The sight of the Polynesian was gruesome, but Normani was too scared to turn away because if she did she knew Dinah could take her last breath. Normani did her best to move and touch Dinah's cheek. "You're g-gonna be okay, DJ. W-w-we're gonna g-go home and y-you're gonna show me the gifts and w-we're gonna cuddle! and-and-and-" She paused as she began to hyperventilate. She heard sirens in the distance but they sounded too far.
Dinah's eyes opened a little, it only started to get harder to breath. "I'm n-nev-er gonna be okay with hurting you." She said, staring at the gash that was bound to leave a mark.
"Dinah Jane. No, I'm okay! You gotta wake up, okay? Stay awake-I-I hear the sirens. Stay with me, baby, please."
"Promise me, please. I-I-" She paused her lungs were losing air rapidly and it hurt to talk. "I love you." She managed to speak clearly. The woman sobbed as she watched her girlfriend continue to gasp for short breaths air, blinking rapidly. The pain you feel of someone physically fighting for their life when you're right there and should be in the same boat is probably the most traumatic thing. Normani didn't even feel herself getting taken out of the car. She didn't hear as the lady shouted for any information on her. Her mind was on how she watched the love of her life just fight for her life. There weren't any tears just void.
The thoughts chilled the woman as she reached up to twirl the jade ring that was hanging from her necklace between her fingers with a solemn expression. With a low sigh, she shook her head of the thoughts and went back into the house being met with Theodore. The pomsky puppy Dinah had gifted her with. Her heart warmed a bit. The dog had been a sense of comfort for a while, and he meant the world to her. When she first made it home from the hospital, her mother was there and gave her the 12 week old to which she pushed away. She'd eventually come around when the pup had snuggled with her needing comfort of its own, being away from family. The woman was slowly brought back to life, but not entirely. She was slowly making it though.
She knew Dinah was there and always would be with her, but she missed and wanted her. Only she could comfort her enough to go and tell everyone she'd be alright. She felt terrible for worrying her supporters but she wasn't ready to take it to social media knowing the sore subject would inevitably brought up. That's when she got the idea. It'd be simple and effective.
It was a spontaneous idea, and Normani 's team was more than surprised to get a text from her so randomly after so long but not as long as they thought. They all rushed over as soon as possible though, not asking any questions. When they made it there they were met with the girl that they had missed like crazy. She looked a little smaller and her eyes were puffy upon noticing they all incased her into a much needed hug. Only a few tears this time- she was getting better.
Nearly four hours later she was placed infront of bright lights. Immediately the live video swarmed with hearts and sweet comments asking if she's okay and how she is. She smiles a bit, it breaks a little when she sees and abundance of rip comments. She knows they meant no harm but the comments make it more true. She looked down and tried to calm herself down, maybe this wasn't a great idea. Maybe she didn't fully accept that Dinah was dead. She gripped the edge of her seat before she looked down to be met with big brown puppy eyes that calmed her down. Reaching down, she picked up the dog and snuggled him before looking up to the camera and clearing her throat. "Hi guys." She spoke aloud before her eyes found the floor again.
"Um, its been awhile but I'm okay. I-um, when Dinah passed I kinda shut down but she meant a lot to me. She taught me so much about myself and life in general. She showed me happiness, she was the first person to need me as much as I needed them. Dinah taught me self-love. I remember how we'd stand in the mirror, criticizing she'd simply always say 'love yourself' and I'd reply with 'you love me enough for the both of us'. I miss her with every atom in my body. The way she cared for me was like no other and I felt the same with her." She paused to take a few breath, holding back her tears. "Dinah died from blood loss. The medics made it but by the time she'd gotten in surgery she lost in an insane amount of blood. The lung puncture being the cause of the blood loss." The girl stopped to let out a sniffle.
Everyone around her leaning in a bit closer as if they were going to catch a piece of the broken girl. This was the first anyone had heard of the real cause of her death. The only person knowing was Normani. She witnessed the scene first hand, "But that's not what Dinah would want me to talk about. Knowing her, she'd want me to talk about the positive." She started and her eyes locked with the camera. "I've spent all day and all night trying to see things like she did. How she always pushed through even on the worst days. I looked back on these months and I realized how strong I am. My fiancé died and she was my oxygen but I'm living. I can't help but feel like this was bound to happen. Dinah always reminded me not to depend on her like I did for everything. If something happened to her she'd always be terrified of my next move. She knew she was dying the moment we crashed because the great concern I saw as she stared into my soul."
"I'm here to apologize. To my fiancé, my family, friends, and supporters. I didn't keep my promise. Looking in Dinah's eyes in that moment she held everything that makes me. I made a silent promise that even without her I would love, laugh, and live. I haven't done either. She's gone and I dwelled on that for nearly six months, but I won't let that define who I am anymore. I'm going to live and be happy. If I'm not? That when I'll know I've lost her."
The end.
i love u.
