Wonderlust

I'm Setting the Mood, Birthday Boy

I was exhausted from crying three separate times, so after a quick dinner of something amazing the two of our new pseudo-parents, I went to bed.

And it was okay.

I felt safe.

The sound of rain falling gently from Dylan earbuds in my own ears calmed me down and made me drowsy. I wasn't ready to fall asleep yet, but this was exactly what I wanted. I just wanted to lie here with my eyes closed and not move. I hugged Dylan's hoodie tight, and just soaked in the feeling of closeness and security... and drifted off.

Then I felt a like tap on my shoulder, and opened my eyes to see Dylan was sitting on the bed, staring at me lovingly. He was holding a plate in one hand, it had two cupcakes on it. One of them had a candle on it, it was blue and for some reason I thought that was perfect.

"Hey." He said, his voice soft.

He ran his fingers through my hair and it sent nice tingles down my spine. I smiled and sat up. The time on Dylan's phone read ten thirty at night. I guess I had fallen asleep.

"What's with the cupcakes?" I asked.

Dylan smiled to himself. "I may have let it slip that today is my birthday."

My eyes widened and I raised my arms in accusation. "Why didn't you tell me? Dylan?"

He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "You had a lot going on."

"It's your birthday dummy." I shook my head in disbelief. "You're eighteen!"

He clicked his phone on again to check the time. "I am in about five minutes. You want a cupcake?"

He handed me another plate and we got crumbs all over the floor together as we took off the wrappers. Then Dylan had to pull his lighter out of his backpack and lit the candle.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

I turned down the lights a little bit. "I'm setting the mood, birthday boy."

He smiled, his features now only define by the flickering candle and the somewhat dimmer lights. Then I walked back over and sat down across from the room. Dylan was blushing. That was obvious, even in this half-light.

"Are you going to make a wish?" I asked, after he just kind sat there and did nothing for a few moments.

"Oh yeah." He laughed. "Sorry, I haven't had a cake in years."

Dylan shut his eyes and got adorably intense for a moment. his nose crinkled up in concentration. Then he opened them again and let out a small puff of air. The candle went out, and he looked up at me with this look of amazement on his face. If there was one thing about Dylan that pulled me in every time, it was his unwavering ability to have a childish sense of wonder at everything.

I was in love with his wonderlust.

"What'd you wish for?" I asked, as we leaned against the side of the bed and licked frosting off of our fingers.

"Well I can't tell you, then it won't come true." He smirked.

"Mm, oh I see." I smirked back.

I put my empty plate aside with his and leaned forward. Our noses brushed together and I could feel the heat radiating from his skin, from his flushed face. I stared into his pretty brown eyes and he chuckled.

"I guess it's about to come true."

"Shut up." I laughed.

Our lips brushed together for a moment then he pulled my face closer and kissed me deep, like our own ocean. I could taste his blue cupcake. His fingers brushed across my scalp and I shivered slightly.

"Atticus." He said, stopping all of a sudden. "Listen I don't know where you're going but I feel like I should say I'm not at a place where I'm comfortable enough with my body for sex."

"Oh, thank God." I sighed, relived. "I thought I was going to have to say it first."

He smiled, then just laughed. We both laughed and the sound was so sweet and yellow. Pale yellow. The color of the softest feelings of love. Yellow is the color of sleeping in the clouds and holding your partner close to you. Running your hands through his hairs and kissing his forehead. All yellow, all wonderful. I love yellow feelings.

We laughed and we kissed and we were in love. Two boys in love. It's not as unheard-of people would think. It's a little too heard of then some people would like, but who cares what they think. Those people aren't going to stop us from kissing and being in love.

"Dylan?" I whispered under my breath.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

I could see him bring a hand up to his face. "I love you too."

His voice came out crackly, like the fire place white noise setting on his phone. He might have been crying. I hope not, because we had been doing a lot of that lately.

"I'm so lucky to have you." He whispered back. "There's in no man luckier than I."

I giggled and pressed my forehead against his. "You? What about me? You should see my boyfriend."

"I bet he can't beat my boyfriend."

"Okay obviously I can't out-flirt you."

So instead I tilted my head up kissed him again. He sighed in satisfaction, cupping my face in his hands. I took him in and soaked in his face and his body because I loved every inch. He was so soft and blue and God I just loved him so much. I loved him. I loved him.

It wouldn't matter where we went after this because I had Dylan, and wherever we went was home.