The Butterfly Effect | 방탄소년단 (BTS) [Editing]

1.7

Once out of the room, I make my way silently to the front porch and though aware of how freezing cold is outside, my body still shivers when the wind hits my face. Snow covers most of the front patio, it feels so lonely yet so soothing at the same time. 

I glance at my phone once more, debating on making a call to the only person that would help me decide what to do in the most dramatically honest way -- in addition to get interrogated on why am I awake at this unholy hour -- or just let my train of thoughts consume me slowly.

It's been a while, so I might as well. I say to myself. 

I make the call and in a matter of few rings, she answers the call. [[Hello?]]

"Hi Mom."

[[My baby, how are you-- wait, no. What's wrong?]] She quickly changes the sentence, taking me aback.

"I'm-- Why do you think there is something wrong?"

[[Honey, I know it's 3:30 in the morning over there. You sound in the worst mood so I could guess that you just woke up or you haven't slept at all."]] She says confidently, as if all these years of raising me have paid off.

"Well shit, woman." I murmur.

[[Watch your mouth.]]

"Excuse my french." I roll my eyes.

[[So, what happened? Did you and Hannah fight?]]

"Oh no, Hannah is sleeping soundly. I just had a... strange dream and I woke up from it. Couldn't fall back to sleep since." I explain to her, not giving much detail so she does not worry.

[[What was the dream about?]] I knew she was going to ask, coming from a person who is very superstitious and believes that every dream has a significance.

"Well, I was under water... and I struggled to get back up." I try to leave the part that Taehyung was in there too, mainly because she does not know him and I don't exactly want to talk about it.

[[I see...]] She mumbles. [[Anything else?]]

"Not really, I got up later on and came outside to take a breath. The thing is that it was so vividly, it got me... I wouldn't say scared..."

[[But you got a shock out of it.]]

"Exactly." I admit.

[[Well, you know how gullible I am when it comes to dreams...]]

"That's why I called, Mom." I smile tightly to hold back my limited patience, feeling a little annoyed at how she states facts I am already aware of. "What would that mean?"

[[Being underwater means that you are becoming overwhelmed with negative thoughts, or emotions. Something that could be happening in your life at the moment that it's giving you the constant debate whether you should go for it or retreat.]] When she says that, my heart palpitates faster than normal. I internally freak out at her accurate explanation.

Has she been spying on me? Does she have cameras in Seoul or something? How does she know that?

"... Interesting." Is all I manage to say.

[[Anything correlating to that? Maybe a boyfriend you have yet to tell me about--]]

"Mother, can you not." I can't help but blush from embarrassment at her question. "There is no one."

[[Come on Jessabelle, aren't there any boys that have caught your attention lately?]]

I bite my lower lip, trying not to say the wrong thing. "I've been surrounded by boys, but it's not like that. I made a new friend who is... troubled, and I am not sure if I should continue helping him or not... His friends are not getting along, he can't do much about it, and he depends on my help yet I feel like I'm not getting anywhere." I sigh in exasperation.

[[So you don't know whether helping or backing out.]] She is finally on the same wavelength.

"Basically..." I shrug even though I am aware she can't see me. "In reality, I don't want to get involved in any way, but I can't stop this stir inside that I might have a solution to fix the mess that has unfold... I don't know what to do, Mom."

A silence roams for a few long seconds, and I look at the screen to see in case the call was cut short. Before I can ask if she still in line, she speaks.

[[Listen honey, I can't decide for you because you are already a grown woman who has to make decisions for herself. All I can tell you is to follow whatever your heart tells you to do, as long as you think about it twice and keep yourself out of trouble.]] I can hear the sincerity of her voice, which gives me a wave of comfort and nostalgia.

"You just don't want to receive a call from the Interpol." I try to maintain the monotone, but my small snort quickly gives it away.

[[God forbid I do, I would be killing you myself when you get back to American land." I can't help but chuckle. "I'm serious, though.]]

I stop. "I'll try to keep myself out of trouble then."

[[You better.]]

"Okay, ma. I'm going back to sleep."

[[Go rest, my love. Please don't do anything stupid and call me more often." She requests. "By the way, Jay is finally on vacation, says you haven't been answering his texts.]]

"The idiot might have sent the messages to the US number." I sigh exaggeratedly, not surprised at her news. "You'll have to give him the temporary number I'm currently using."

[[Right, I'll do that. Now, go back to bed. Try to rest.]]

"Will do, love you."

[[Love you more.]] And just like that, the call ends.

I get up and reach the door handle to go back inside, but a frozen hand figure halts me from turning it. My breathing stops from the sudden paranormal appearance of Kim Seokjin. "Motherfu-- Seokjin! Can you please stop doing--" I stop as I notice his not-so-happy expression. "-- that... Is something wrong?"

"Before you go inside, can we talk? Won't take long." He asks on a serious tone, making me rather anxious.

"Sure, what is it?"   

"I... I think you should stop this." 

"Stop waking up this early?" 

"No, I need you to stop investigating my death."

I am confusion. 

"What?"

"For your own safety, I think you should stop trying to help me out." He makes himself clearer. His eyes are a dull dark brown color, it feels like his soul is not there at all. "It will be for the best."

I try to get some sense in his words. Just a few days back he was excited and appreciative that I was talking to him, and now he is basically asking me to forget any of this has ever happened. Clearly there is something that has triggered him to act this way. Maybe a dark flashback that gave him an unpleasant time. Maybe a vivid memory of his murderer.

"Seokjin." I take a step close to him, but he retreats one back. "What do you know?" 

"...I don't know anything. Even if I do know something, from now on it is none of your business." He replies coldly.

"Kim Seokjin, what the fuck are you talking about?" I grit my teeth, trying to keep my voice low so I don't wake up the others.

"Thank you for trying to help me, Jessabelle. I hope you live your life to the fullest." My eyes widen as he calls me by my first name. He forces a smile briefly before he starts to walk away. His figure is gradually fading into thin air, and remain in this state of shock. 

Am I not going to see him anymore? 

Is this the end? 

My body finally responds to my subconscious pleading to stop him from going any further. I extend my arms and throw myself into his wide but faint back, acknowledging his supernatural state, yet somewhere deep down wishing that some kind of miracle occurs as I impulse myself towards him. 

Maybe God has heard me this one time.

~~~