VOLITION | H.S. AU

t w o

I have a child inside of me. A baby! A part of me and Harry. Why am I so stupid and naive not to know about this.

Harry got me pregnant.

I feel like this is such a big joke and life is mocking at me. Trinity might be pregnant too and that knowledge brought me to the pits of hell.

How could this happen to me? I feel sorry for my baby because he or she will probably grow up without a father. I know Harry might not even accept his child with me because there's already Trinity and their baby. They will matter more to him and my baby and I will be nothing to him. If he will choose, I know he won't even give us a glance because it's obvious who he will choose. Also, I'm just  a good f.uck to him so I wouldn't matter.

Why? Why my fate is so twisted and miserable. Why would my child suffer the consequence of our mistakes. My mistake!

"Lisa, you know you have options." The doctor tells me carefully. I can see the look of pity from her face.

"O-options?" My voice cracks from crying.

"Yes, as a woman you have the right to decide what you want to do with your body. It's very clear that you're not ready yet so there are lists of options you can choose." She tells me, I wipe my tears away and clears my throat ready to hear my doctor's possible recommendation.

"And that would be?"

"Well you can keep the baby, that's one. You can opt for adoption after you give birth or you can choose abortion." She tells me calmly like she just hadn't spoke about killing my baby. I hear myself growl in rage as I stand from my seat in anger.

"What?? No! I wouldn't kill my baby!" I scream at her, darting her with my deadly glares.

"Calm down, Lisa." She raises from her seat too.

"No, you won't do any harm to my baby. I'll keep my baby!" I instinctively wrap my arms to cover my abdomen as an act of protecting my child.

"Alright, you need to relax. Stress can harm the baby." She warns me. Worry instantly flood in me so forcing myself to keep my calm, I take my seat again breathing in and out to calm myself. When I finally keep my calm, the doctor speaks again.

"I see that you want to keep the baby."

I give her my most determined look as I declare to her my decision.

"I never said I didn't want to."

***

A tear slips from eyes as I reminisce the day that I learned that I'm pregnant and  how it turned my world. My goals and priorities shifted and all that matter to me now is my life living inside of me.

It is still so fresh in my memories, reminding me everyday of what my goal should be.

"Are you alright Lisa?" Tessa queries me making me scoff. She volunteered to accompany me to my monthly check up with the doctor.

"I am." I answer drily, my response brings pain to glimmer in her eyes making me guilty for a moment but knowing what kind of woman she is wipes all my sympathy for her.

"Lisa.."

"Please stop, I don't need your help nor your symphathy." I snap at her making her sigh.

"Alright. The doctor will be here in five minutes."

"I know." I was rude to her but I can't help it. I just can't accept her. For me she is one of the root cause of all this problem. I lost her respect to her when she left Harry,  her own child just to be with my dad. I love my dad but it isn't an excuse for me to be not disappointed of his actions.