Her--I mean His Biggest Secret [ABANDONED]

Chapter 12: This Chapter Does Not Progress The Story, But Enjoy The Sass Fight!

Naruto's seat was sandwiched between Hinata and a Kiri ninja she didn't know. The paper was set in front of her, face down, and her stomach clenched with worry. She hated written exams. Not that she was stupid, but more along the lines of she did better with practical stuff than theory and paperwork.

Besides, what kind of test is this? The result comes from the accumulated scores of the entire team? True it put an emphasis on the phrase 'all for one, one for all', but Naruto wasn't sure she or Sasuke could answer these. Even if she did study, most of her knowledge was practical, and book smarts were Sakura's thing. All these questions involved math, a lot of difficult equations, and secret codes. No way majority of the people in the room could do this without cheating. 

And, if one person loses all ten of their original points, the entire team fails. Dammit, this was seriously messed up.

Ugh...Kyuu, help me.

You're hopeless, kit.

Yeah, well if you're so smart, you should know the answer to all of these!

Nice try, kit. Not falling for that.

Damn.

Y'know, you're a sensor.

Yeah?

...Sensor, kit. Sensor.

Kyuu, for Kami's sake, just tell me what you're getting at.

Oh for the love of--SENSOR! USE YOUR CHAKRA TO SENSE THAT HARUNO'S MOVEMENTS AND COPY THEM!

OH YEAH!

I can't believe I was stuck with such a stupid Jiinchuriki.

You know you love me, you dumb fox.

...I know nothing.

Awww.

Grinning in a fox-like manner, Naruto allowed some of her chakra to stretch into the floor beneath her and latch onto Sakura's. She could sense the words Sakura was writing, and cheerily copied the movements. She finished as soon as Sakura did and detached her chakra from the pink haired kunoichi, stretching her arm and beaming widely. 

Hmm...how much longer do we have to wait till the tenth question.

I'm not your personal inner clock, kit. Check the clock yourself.

Boo! Spoilsport! Party Pooper!

Brat.

Huffing, Naruto crossed her arms across her chest and laid her head on the table. She jumped a little, just noticing that Hinata had been sitting next to her the entire time. "Hinata, I barely noticed you," the blonde whispered. The girl was practically a wallflower. The violet haired girl flushed, looking anywhere but at Naruto. The Uzumaki had guessed that Hinata would have finished quite quickly, since she had the byakugan. She kind of envied the Hyuugas and Uchihas. She'd like a dojutsu.

Did the Uzumaki Clan have a dojutsu?

Nope.

Awww. How come only those two clans have dojutsus? It's not fair.

They're not.

Naruto blinked. What do you mean?

Remember the Sage of Six Paths Hagoromo and his brother Hamura?

Yeah, when we first met, you told me about them like, all the time.

Hagoromo had a dojutsu called the Rinnegan. His descendants later split up into the Uchiha and Senju Clan, but only the Uchihas got a dojutsu. Hamura had the Tenseigan and Byakugan, and the Hyuugas remained on Earth, but the clan with the Tenseigans were sent off to the moon.

Wait. WHAT?!

Yeah, I mean what were they thinking? The moon.

THERE ARE PEOPLE ON THE MOON?!

Yes, kit. Pay attention.

HINATA HAS RELATIVES ON THE MOON?!

Yes, I already clarified that, kit.

PEOPLE ON THE MOON?!

YES! NOW SHUT UP! YOU'RE ANNOYING ME!

Are there still people up on the moon?

I don't know! I've been stuck in you humans for centuries now! Last I saw Hamura, he flew to the moon with his younger child. Then the old man just had to disappear and leave us alone to fend off you ridiculously annoying mortals. Now look what that's gotten us into.

Yeah. You got stuck with an Uzumaki. Aren't you lucky?

Un-lucky, yes.

That's the best comeback you could come up with? Really? All those years stuck in my mind scape has muddled your creativity, you dumb fox.

Naturally. Your idiocy is contagious after all.

Your ugly face is contagious.

I'm fabulous.

Fabulously Ugly.

I'm prettier than you, at least.

That hurt, right here.

Don't hold your hand to your non-existent heart, kit. We both know there's nothing there. 

I'll do that when you stop praising your non-existent good looks. 

As non-existent as your intelligence?

As non-existent as your balls, that's for sure.

THEY ARE THERE, JUST COVERED UP BY MY FUR!

Sure, hon. I'll believe it when I see it. 

You're a twelve year old teenage girl, I am not flashing you my private parts!

What kind of demon are you? You can't even say the word 'penis'.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STILL BE INNOCENT! YOU'RE TWELVE! TWELVE!

Turning thirteen. And once I'm fifteen, nothing is stopping me from getting me some. Naruto giggled evilly...in his mindscape.

No! Your conception was terrifying enough! I hate having female Jiinchuriki! It was bad inside Mito, it was bad in Kushina, it's going to be as bad with you!

I would've guessed you'd like getting front seats to a sex show.

Not when I'm watching from the receiving side. Kurama shuddered.

Ew...So instead of looking at a male, which is what you claim to be, you'd rather look at a naked woman being penetrated by a penis, which you would also be able to see?

STOP IT, YOU DIRTY, HORNY CHILD! NO WONDER YOUR MINDSCAPE USED TO BE A SEWER! YOU ARE DISGUSTING!

Naruto snickered into her hand, earning a few confused and freaked out looks from the ninjas who could see and hear her

Yeah. Life was good.

A/N: Hey everyone. Sorry this story didn't make any sense. I'm having a writer's block and I'm trying to focus on my One Week One Shots Event. I'm worried since it doesn't seem like you guys like my special much, but I'll see how it goes. For now, enjoy this gif I added, and this song I love for its feminist ideals. Neither have anything to do with the chapter, but then again, this entire chapter is just random.