Broken but mended (a Leico fan fiction)

A Small Confession?

Nico's POV

When Leo talked to me yesterday, he sounded like he really did care. No one cares about me for long though, if he really does care he won't care for more than a week. I want him to care though, I want him to care about me as much as I care about him I just don't want to hurt him.

When I woke up this morning I tried to tell myself that I didn't care about him that much, that i don't have feelings for him, but that is a lie, telling myself that is a lie because I do care about him and I do have feelings for him.

My feelings for him are more than just the small butterflies in my stomach when I see him. It is more like when I see him, I feel like I can be happy and that nothing bad has ever happened to me before. I forget everything. I forget Bianca is dead, I forget that people look at me like I am a piece of trash, I forget about my trip to Tartarus, I forget how hurt I was every time I saw Percy with Annabeth knowing that I would never have him as "mine". Leo replaces all the bad memories with good ones, memories that give me hope. When he was talking last night about how one day I will find someone who really cares, someone to love, and things like that, I kept thinking 'What if I already did find someone?' But I pushed that out of my mind multiple times because I know Leo would not and does not feel the same way about me.

This is the worst kind of pain that I have ever felt. Loving somebody so much, but knowing that they don't love you back. I don't know what i thought would happen, maybe I thought he would like me back even just a little. I know Leo enough to say that he will never like me. Even if he was gay or bi he wouldn't like me anyway, I am just a monster and a piece of trash. No one wants that.

I found Hazel after breakfast and told her to walk with me.

"Whats up Nico, you seem sort of, distant."

"Hazel I-I need to tell you something."

"Nico you can tell me anything. What is it?" Hazel asked.

"Hazel, I-I think that I am in love with somebody." I mumbled.

"Nico thats great! Who is she?" Hazel asked, playfully elbowing me.

"I-it's not a she, its a h-he." I whispered. Her jaw dropped. "Its L-Leo." I muttered so silently I didn't think she heard me. I don't know if it is possible to say that her jaw dropped even more when I said who it was. "That's not the only thing though." I said and rolled up the sleeves of my jacket showing her my wrists.

"N-Nico I already knew about your cuts. The reason they heal so fast is because when you fall asleep I take care of them. It's not right, you cutting yourself, but I didn't think you wanted to talk about it and I didn't want to make you upset by bringing it up so I didn't say anything. Just please stop okay?" She sounded so sad. I nodded.

"L-Leo talked to me a-about it last night, I told him I wouldn't do it again." I muttered. Hazel smiled a little.

"Now about Leo, Nico I don't want you getting hurt. I have nothing against you liking him, but I just don't want to see you get hurt because he might not like you back. I think you should talk to him at some point, when you are ready to, and tell him how you feel." She said.

"I-I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way, but I might talk to him at one point." I said. Hazel smiled.

"I have to go, Frank wants me to help him with something." Hazel said. I nodded and walked back to my cabin.

I am going to write a note, it will be an anonymous note to Leo. It will say everything that I feel that is possible to write on paper.

'Dear Leo,'

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A/N sorry this is a very very bad chapter. I promise that there will be a better one soon! Maybe today, maybe next week I don't know. But anyway, enjoy this terrible chapter for now. (A new-hopefully better chapter will be written today most likely.)