DOUBT

Chapter 12 - He loves us

"As-Salam Alaikum, dad." My eyes shut, hearing his tone, and when I open them back, his father was glancing between us.

"What a surprise? Come in, come in. Welcome. Do you like to have something, tea, coffee?" Pamir gives him space to enter just a bit,

"or let's cut the crap? What the f*** do you want?" My eyes widen, hearing his words.

"Pamir!" I whisper yell his name, but he ignores me on the surface, but I could feel his grip tightening. I glance back at his father in sympathy.

"Oh, I know maybe you are here to see the son you created without love, to see how is he coping?" There was a sinister smile on his face when he mocked.

'Oh, God, can he stop?'

"Pamir!" His father roars with anger making my jump, which he never the less composes quickly.

'It's all my fault. I should have never invited him to meet Pamir.'

'Two people are in mayhem because of me.'

"Sir, I think you should leave. I am sorry for all of this. Pamir, go inside." My voice was sensitive when I acknowledged him, but he refused to look at me and continued glaring at his father.

Holding his hand that gripped the doorknob, I tried to pry him away from the door, but he jerks me away.

"Stay out of it, Ezzah." He scowls at me as he pulls me by the side of my neck, causing me to stare in his eyes.

Was I delusional that I could see how afraid he was beneath the fake mask of hatred?

"Don't," it was a whisper as my eyes teared. I could feel Pamir's breathing shift; he was heaving. I held his hands as if that would calm him down, and maybe it did. He tried to say something, but he shut his mouth instead.

"I am sorry, Pamir, I should have been careful." There was guilt visible at his face over my words.

"I know you hate me, but leave her out of this. I just wanted to meet you. Leave the poor girl. You are hurting her." His father's words cause us both to snap our faces at him. His father places his hand over his shoulder, which he jerks away.

Pamir pushes me away as I stumble back, bumping the console table behind me. A pain crawls through my arm due to the elbow that got hit in the process. I blink at him, gripping my arm as tears slip down, not sure if it's because it stung so bad or because I could see how much he was hurt.

"I get it! You want to meet me so you can calculate the damage and try to fix it money. The same way you tried to do with my mother once because money apparently fixes everything and oh, not to forget, get the sympathy of my wife, to prove how much of a nice guy you are, huh Papa?" He uses the word 'papa' as an insult rather than an appellation as he goes face to face with his father.

"Beta, it's not like that." Pamir takes uncle by his collar, and our eyes widen in shock. Pamir is not some who gets into physical fights, let alone disrespecting an adult.

"I don't care what the hell it's like, just stay out of my life because you are not a part of it," and he throws uncle out by his collar, slamming the door on his face.

Pamir slides down, leaning his back against the door as whimpers leave his mouth in the silence. I don't know what to do. I am not frozen because I am startled by his outburst, but because I am afraid that he might hate me back. I stepped into his personal space again and tried to control it.

Pamir is the same man who told me "to never mistreat mama", and yet he treated his father so flippant that it makes me question if he is even okay. The whole time he controlled his pain but channeled it out into anger because he wanted to blame someone out there since he could not blame death. He cannot blame a fact. So, he picked the closest person who caused his mother and himself pain to hurt back for the ache he felt.