DOUBT

Chapter 2 - Hurt, Closed Off.

Hurt, Closed Off.

Has anyone ever wondered what is like to wake up after nothingness?

I did. It feels like I wanna go back to sleep because I hate mornings. The snooze button is a way of us human saying, 5 more minutes.

Is it just me or rubbing your face on the pillow, actually seems... pleasant. I cover my mouth while a yawn plays it's way up my mouth. I look at the window with narrowed eyes, the sun still burns. It's still early, why am I even awake again?

Did I forget to pray fajr again? I thought on the thought as I rubbed my head, messing the bird's nest a little more. No, I did pray it, I almost slipped over on the water in the bathtub. I am sure I prayed.

What time is it? I look at the wall trying to make the blurry image as I rub my eyes when I heard my name in the distance. I snap my head when the voice makes more sense.

"Is Ezzah up?" I hear lightly.

Pamir's mom, is she here already? But it's only 9 in the morning.

"I will call her." I hear a scream, the brat.

"Hey, Ezzah! Are you awake?" She is probably yelling from the last step of the stairs. Kia musibate hai! Can I still prove she is adopted?

"Ezzah!" She yells again as I pull and cover my ears with my pillow.

"I am coming!" I scream back.

"Ezzah!" why is she shouting so mu... wait! Aunty is here. I rapidly blink my eyes trying to snap out of my sleep as I make a run for it. Idiot, can you be any denser? To jahanum with my night suit.

As soon as I hear her call me once again by then I am already in front of my sister who smiles at me sneakily, which causes me to raise an eyebrow at her. Pushing her out of my way by her head, I walk to where everyone else was in the living room but I stop dead in my track.

Why is Pamir in an eccentric state? He felt lost. I have never seen him like that, not even the time when he broke his foot before his high school football/soccer game and that was important for him.

I look around the space and see my whole family is here, having a round table conference. It feels strange because it's pretty hard to find us all together in one room at any time. My two siblings are usually off for school by now but it's Sunday, so in bed probably and Mama is always busy in the kitchen while Baba reads on his paper if he does not have a morning shift. There were things on the living room table, coiled with transparent plastic wraps.

Whose wedding was it again?

Is that chum chum? I gaze at it greedily.

My eyes lock with my mother's glaring ones and that when I realize, everyone was acting differently and by different, I mean, I really could see there was something fishy.

Come on, they all were sitting so formally like something serious is going on. My brother is not pulling my sister's hair while being right beside her. Baba has a strange expression on his face. He almost seems he was about to cry but was also happy. Mama and aunty are not discussing any recipe but actually staring at me. Pamir's phone is nowhere to be found. So, yes, I could feel it, I could feel that any second now and everything will come crashing down; down on me.

"Ezzah,'' Aunty called my name softly like she usually does.

Moving towards in her direction, I give her a huge but awkward smile. I hugged her a 'good morning' as I reached closer to her. Yet while hugging her, I whisper in her ear, "what happened to him and why is he acting so tragic?''