19: Reality marble

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Emily had just spent one of the best moments of her life, but now she was in a sleeping bag, thinking it could have gone better. "Ali... I'm holding my breath. I'm keeping these feelings to myself because I'm afraid that once they're out, our moments together won't happen anymore. I don't wanna lose you!" she screamed. But it took her a second to wake up. She'd never said a thing. Ali was still sound asleep.

Emily groaned. A voice asked, What was the worst that could happen if I tell? That she wouldn't love me back? The same voice answered, Well, it is because I do and so fucking hard. The voice was hers and it scared her how much it wanted to speak out loud.

The darkness was consumed by light as the hours passed. Birds started chirping and the sun slowly became visible. Alison woke up, the rays becoming too much for her eyes to bear. She turned to her best friend, who was sleeping. Her cheeks seemed wet, as if water drops had fallen from the tree above them. Alison's fingers reached Emily's cheeks to wipe the dried drops, earning a soft pant from Emily. Had she woken her up?

Emily tried opening her eyelids as Ali pulled her warm hands away, the light bothering her instantly. Suddenly a shadow covered her face: Ali was against the sun. Ali, you look like an angel.

"Oh?" Ali's features shifted for a second, then she put her hair behind one ear. "Thanks."

Had Emmy said that out loud? Fuck. She blushed, glancing down. "Morning."

"Good morning." Ali grinned, her dimples showing. Emmy loved when she smiled that big. "Now we should definitely head back before anyone notices."

"Are you scared?" Emily teased back.

"Just don't want to get a lecture from my mom about sneaking out."

If you knew you'd get a lecture, why sneak out? Wondering this was normal for Emily, she'd been raised that way, after all. But of course, Ali was different. Ali was bold, she took risks. Maybe one of the reasons Emmy loved her so much. "I get it." She stretched and the two got up, took their stuff and headed to Ali's house.

Alison thought they'd look ridiculous walking on the empty road with sweats and tank tops, but she genuinely felt amazing. It was like the world was shut down when she hanged out with Emily. "So what do you want for breakfast?" she asked when they were a few blocks away.

"You're already thinking about breakfast?"

"Wrong answer. When a guy asks you what you want for breakfast, you gotta say something sweet."

"You're not a guy."

"And I'm not sweet, but hey, I do like chocolate in the morning!"

Emily had laughed after that, which had been Alison's intention. Once inside the house, Ali made them chocolate pancakes. Then they laid on Ali's bed talking about the most random things ever, like the stars: Emily was obsessed with astrology signs. She even had her own calendar in her room.

"So, tell me, Em," Ali said softly, looking at Emily with their heads on the pillows. "Do our stars align?"

"Yeah." Emily looked down shyly for a moment and started explaining. "We're a great match," she concluded.

"I knew it!" Ali exclaimed. "That's why we're the bestest of friends!"

Emily had nodded hesitantly. Maybe that's why I love you, she'd considered. Maybe it was meant to be. But then her mind repeated the word: friends. Interrupting her thoughts, Ali had started asking about her family's and friends' matches and she'd been really interested.

The conversation ended when Emily's mom called her daughter, who went straight home after that. Emily wished she could say that she'd wanted to stay at Ali's longer, but not thinking about her feelings for her seemed impossible.

Later, Alison sat on the sofa on her room, playing a game on her phone. She wasn't doing so great. What was wrong? 

Unconsciously, she went to her text board. No new messages, it read. She'd checked them out this morning and there had been quite a few from her friends. But now there was none from the one most precious to her. Emily had left a few hours ago. You see, Emily was one of the text-me-when-you're-home kind of people, so she always messaged her after hanging out, saying she had fun. But this time she didn't. Didn't she have fun?

Alison sighed disappointingly. She was most likely over-thinking this. Maybe Em was finishing Great Expectations and wasn't checking her phone. Ali had called her out on it, so maybe Em took it seriously and worried about it. That's more like her.

That's got to be it.

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