Instead of Me

∆15∆

My mind was racing. Annie seemed so upset by her sudden epiphany. She almost seemed ready to cry. Why was she running to me? How would I be able to help her in this sort of situation. "Um. . . okay?" I managed to stutter. I nervously rubbed the back of my neck. My mouth hung open slightly as I tried to understand Annie's train of thought, but nothing was coming to me.

Annie sighed. "That's all you can say?" She stormed past me and threw her coat on the couch in the living room. "I come to you with a serious problem and all you can say is okay?" She plopped down on the couch. This was the most dramatic she had ever been. She rubbed her temples, as if she were soothing a headache.

I scrunched my eyebrows together and shut the door. "How did you even get here anyway? Weren't you at Katherine's?" 

An eye roll was my response. She flung herself upwards. "You were there too. How did you get home?" She raised an eyebrow at me. "I cannot believe you drove after last night." She shook her head at me disapprovingly. "Heath drove me home about an hour ago. I showered and changed. When I was getting dressed, I realized my predicament and walked over immediately. Hence," she lifted up her damp hair that I hadn't even noticed before. 

Maybe my brain wasn't working correctly still from the night before, but I was thoroughly confused. I had to be careful with what I said to Annie. She seemed as though she was ready to explode with one poorly chosen phrase. "Um. . ." I scratched my head. "Do you want me to make hot chocolate. We can drink and talk this out." That was the only suggestion I could come up with. Maybe while I made it, I could gather my thoughts.

Annie agreed. "Yes, I'd like that very much." She wrapped the throw blanket that was lying on the couch around her torso. I turned to walk into the kitchen. "Finn?" Annie's voice was tiny, as though she were intimidated by our upcoming conversation. I would be, too if I were her. "Could you put marshmallows in mine? The little ones?"

I chuckled. "Of course." I shoved my hands into the pockets of my sweatpants and strolled into the kitchen. I found the kettle in the back of cupboard, filled it with water, then placed it on the stove. As it heated up, I got the mugs together and put the proper serving of hot chocolate mix in each. I found the tiny marshmallows and put them on a plate next to Annie's pink mug. It was the mug she always used when she came over. She liked it because it was the same color as her first pair of pointe shoes. 

There was a sudden shuffle behind me. I whipped my head around to see my father rummaging through the refrigerator and pulling out two beer cans. I instinctively grabbed his car keys off the table, just to be safe. "Dad? What are you doing?" 

He seemed dazed. "I'm leaving to go to the bar. I'm meeting up with some work friends." He shut the fridge door. 

I shook my head. "You need drinks for the way there, too?" He gave me a nasty look. It was hard to imagine that this was the same man who had professed his regrets to me only hours earlier. "Can't you meet somewhere other than a bar, Dad? Don't they realize that you have a problem?" 

My dad shuffled his way around the kitchen table, picking up his shoes and slipping them on. "I don't have a problem, Finn. I can stop anytime I want to." I snorted at that comment, but he ignored me. There was a honk outside as a car pulled up. "That'll be them," he said. "I'll see you later tonight." He zipped up his jacket, hugged the beer bottles to his chest, and walked outside. 

The kettle started whistling. I poured the boiling water into the mugs. I dropped the marshmallows into Annie's cup. Carefully, I carried them out to the living room and placed them on the coasters on the coffee table. "It's hot," I warned.

"You okay, Finny?" she asked me, rubbing my arm as I sat down next to her. I nodded unconvincingly, but she didn't push me. Annie knew I didn't like to talk about my dad. She picked up her mug and took a sip. She had the mouth of steel. Annie could drink anything right after it boiled and eat anything straight out of the oven. She called me a sissy when I had to wait a few minutes for my drinks or food to cool down. "How's your head? Feeling better?"