How To Be A Hoe

06 | Deal?

"I'm not going to say I know your type, because in all honesty, I don't, but the look on your face when you saw him in the hallway was enough," Jimin said. "Seriously, I'd advise you to get the feel of Seoul first, before you try for any actual dating. Trust me, there are plenty of willing fish in the metaphorical sea."

He spoke with the high tone of someone who was faced with an inferior quality of coffee at the corner Starbucks, like that one annoying customer who seemed to be thoroughly versed in the art of making beverages.

You'd never been a barista, but there was nothing about that was not annoying.

You snorted. "Like you?"

"If you're willing." A hint of the familiar cocky smirk traced his full lips. "But I've got contacts. You've got advice—though mostly gleaned from impractical teenager books. We could make a great team."

As he spoke, your eyebrows climbed higher and higher, apparently trying their best to retreat. At his finishing line, you breathed in heavily, not sure if he was joking or not.

"What do you mean?" You asked finally.

"I mean, we could do some good internal Cupid stuff." He gestured vaguely with his hands, trying to explain something he himself wasn't completely sure about. "I've known these people for months, how they behave, how you snare them and which ones to deal with. Plus, I have the actual concrete physical experience...but you, you can help me get out of scrapes."

"Scrapes."

"Yeah." He nodded, looking somewhat excited by now. "You have all that theoretical knowledge—how to and stuff. Plus, girls trust girls, since this is still a place where sexuality isn't free. If I have you, I can't mess up."

"I'm not sure where this is going," you admitted. "So I don't know."

"But you could." He emphasized the last word with great enthusiasm, pulling open a cabinet and rummaging inside. "And I'm only saying this as a roommate."

"The cereal's in the fridge."

"Who the fuck puts cereal in the fridge?"

"You the fuck." You gave him a look. He proceeded to ignore that comment, instead focusing on explaining his Big Blueprint of Roommate Benefits.

"Like business partners." He was on a roll now, brainstorming and cramming his inexplicable plans and reasons aloud as he proceeded to pull open the fridge door and look for something to eat. "And since our sexual preferences allow us, we could DIY the whole thing too."

What the actual heck? There were moments when you wondered whether he was exceptionally brilliant or exceptionally stupid, such were his statements. He gave you a winning smile, as if he hadn't noticed the confusion that set on your face.

That made a deep-set frown appear on your face as you fished for a clean bowl. "That better not mean what I think it means."

Jimin straightened, momentarily abandoning his excursion of the insides of the refridgerator to turn and give you a convincing look.

"Alright, maybe." You sighed. "Is this like a project partners thing?"

If the analogy disturbed or even bothered him, he didn't show it. "Kinda."

You bit your lip. Though you didn't want to admit it, the way he phrased it sounded appealing, if only for a bit. It was weird, definitely, having to look to someone for help, like some kind of helpbook that would get you through this, except a full-size, full-time, full-blown version, which came in (limited edition) Overly Silver Fuckboy.

"I'm listening."

"Okay, great." He beamed. "I could teach you the basics—how to kiss, how to flirt, all that jazz. So now you don't have to come crying back to me once you get brutally crushed during rejection."

"I'm not going to cry for something as stupid as that—"

"Just a preventive measure." He assured you. "So you can learn the ways of the hoe."

Sounds like some martial arts class.

Pursing your lips, you swayed a little on your spot, leaning with your back against the wall cabinet as you genuinely considered the proposal. "This is superbly dumb."

"It is."

"And it's probably not going to work."

"Probably."

You exhaled. "Then do it."

"Do what?" He looked faintly confused as you spoke, so you narrowed your eyes, speaking before his mind could wander to other, ah, needlessly unholy places.

"Show me." You gave him a hopeful look. "Show me how to be a hoe."

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*drum roll*

Get ready for some hot scenes y'all