Inevitable - Alren

Chapter 11

Demi pulled back almost immediately, she couldn't do this. "Ally, you don't want to kiss me. You're just vulnerable right now." Ally had her eyes clamped tightly shut, refusing to look at Demi. Ally was embarrassed, Demi was right, she didn't kiss her because she wanted to kiss Demi, she kissed her because she wanted to feel loved. "I'm sorry Demi, I'm so sorry." Ally cried, her eyes still shut. "It's okay Ally, I get it." Demi cuddled Ally close, stroking her head, and kissing her cheek. The two girls sat curled up together, until Demi's assistant walked in. "Hey Demi, Steph's here." Demi nodded pulled Ally up.

"You ready?" Demi asked, holding Ally's hand as they left the room. "I think so..." Ally sighed, seeing Steph in front of her. She looked nice, her mid-length blonde hair tied up in a ponytail, wearing grey jeans and a pink flannel. "Hey Steph, this is Ally." Demi introduced the two. "Hello Ally, I'm Steph." Steph smiled, her Southern accent coming out strongly. Ally shot her a polite smile as a reply. "Steph can I speak to you for a second?" Demi asked, pulling Steph to the side. Ally couldn't hear what they were saying but she presumed it was about her. Not 2 minutes later did Demi return to her side, "I just filled Steph in on what's going on." Ally nodded and grabbed Demi's hand, "come in with me?" Demi was shocked but understood how Ally was feeling. Nodding she followed Ally into the room.
-
"So Allyson, Demi's been telling me about what you've went through. When do you think this all started?" Steph smiled kindly towards the short girl. "Well, I mean, I've always been an insecure person. I'm really short and I'm not the smartest person ever so... I've always been insecure about my weight, but it got really bad when I was put into Fifth Harmony..." Ally trailed off, as Steph promoted her to continue. "Those girls, my girls, they're all so perfect. They're all have amazing bodies, they have curves I want and tiny waists I envy." Ally got choked up, apologising before she continued. "I'm the ugliest member of the group, everyone knows it, and I'm everyone's least favourite. I started hurting myself when my grandpa died, he was my biggest fan and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I needed to do it, I had to feel something other than the pain of his loss." She shifted in her seat slightly, continuing when she gained back her composure. "It- it became a daily thing, it was as much a part my routine as brushing my teeth. I didn't tell anyone I was doing it because I don't want to be stopped. Tori was the first to find out, one time I had been cutting before a show, and I cut slightly deeper than normal... I needed someone to help me stop the bleeding and she did. I made her promise not to tell anyone and she kept that promise. There were times where I wanted to die, where I tried to kill myself... but Tori always saved me." Ally wiped her eyes, clearing her throat, "but she hates me, it was all an act..." Steph looked confused as she finished writing her notes. "Why do you think she hates you Ally? What has she done to make you think that?" Steph asked quietly, wanting the girl to explain her point. "Well I had this dream, and it was really realistic. She hated me there, everyone did, my family, Sydney, Dinah, Mila, Mani, Tori... and Lauren." Ally choked on Lauren's name, making it come out as more of a squeak. "Ally you have to understand that that it was a dream, it wasn't real." Steph stated, making the girl look up at her, "they don't hate you Ally, it was just a dream."
Ally nodded sadly, agreeing so that Steph would stop bringing it up. "Is there anything else bugging you Ally?" Demi asked when she realised that no one was going to speak.

Ally sighed, pulling her notebook from under the cushion she was leaning on and handing it to the older Texan. "What's this Ally?" Demi asked quietly before she opened the book. "It's got a few things I wrote in there, like poems and songs and stuff. It's usually how I express myself." Demi smiled as she opened it, reading each page carefully. The notebook contained many songs and poems written by the short Texan at her side. Demi turned to Ally, "these are really good Ally." Ally just blushed, they weren't that good. "Are you thinking of recording them?" Demi motioned towards a few of the songs in the book. "No, I don't want to sing them myself, they're too personal." Ally confessed, shaking her head as Demi continued through the book.
"Ally, it's really good that you've found a way to pour your feelings out," Steph smiled, "do you have anything in particular that you like to write about?" "Nothing really... well Umm I like someone so I write about them a lot. I'm too scared to tell them so my songs are the next best thing." Ally mumbled shyly. "Very good Ally, I've got to go so I'll end the session here today, I'll be back next Saturday, however if anything comes up in the week don't be afraid to call." Steph stood up, as did Ally, Demi still sat, reading Ally's journal. "Thank you." Ally smiled, hugging Steph. "No problem, bye Demi." Steph left the room, bidding farewell to her usual patient.
Ally walked back to the couch, plonking herself down next to Demi. Demi stopped at one page, her eyes widening. "Ally, I love this one!" She exclaimed, "did you really write this?" Ally just nodded, leaning over Demi's arm to see which song she was talking about.
"Only forever" was scribbled across the top of the page in Ally's messy cursive. Ally remembered writing this song, it wasn't that long ago. "How does it go?" Demi asked, "please sing it for me Ally!"
"Umm, ok." Ally licked her lips and closed her eyes before opening her mouth and letting the song pour out.