It hurt.
Watching them hurt.
Watching her run into his arms at the begining of the day and watching his embrace engulf her petite physique. Watching them kiss goodbye and hold hands as we walked down the halls together. Watching them be together was on of the most painful experiences I have ever endured. One I would not wish upon my worst enemies. Although watching him look at her as if she hung the moon in the sky, I would not mind her feeling this way.
The lonely nights of wishing they weren't together and that I could have my bestfriend back. Sad nights remembering the times when he would text me those needy midnight texts about how much he needs me. The nights where memories would flood my mind and leave me wanting him there with me. The nights were I swear that it wouldn't be possible for anymore tears to trickle out of my eyes. The nights where I'd wake up screaming because it felt like he had punch a whole through my chest and stolen my heart. Those nights I'd wish she could feel this way. Feel this emptyness and know this pain but she's not problem free either, the scars on her wrists were proof.
I would not interfere with them or utter a single word of how it used to be for him and I. Her happiness has always been what came first for me. No matter how far she pushed me or how much pain I would of had to endure, her happiness came first and it always will. Even now as my heart freezes over , seeing her finally smile and mean it almost made it worth it. But my frozen heart caused some problems in the end.
This was all just one big mess.
