Kuroshitsuji: The Contract from Birth [Ciel Phantomhive]

[5] Her Butler, Curious

I bristled up and looked away, going over to the mirror and pointing to the top of the hairstyle. "There are so many pins here, I want them out."

In a few seconds, the pins were gone and my hair fell back down to its usual state, where I felt a large pressure relieve itself. My head no longer felt tight and pulled together, making me sigh in comfort as I tussled my hair and massaged my scalp.

"My Countess, you seem better, though a bit pale."

I opened my eyes and through the mirror, I saw Rodric step inside, his butler attire tattered and covered in blood. He was missing his tailcoat, but other than that seemed fine, wearing the same infuriating smirk. I had to admit, I was angry with him for leaving me with Ciel and Sebastian while I was injured.

"I hope you carried out your order," I spat, turning around. Ciel and Sebastian walked out and left us alone, closing the door behind them with a small click. In Rodric's arms was a pile of clothes which I suspected was a change of clothes for the night and for the morning. He walked towards me and slipped off his bloody gloves, washing his hands in the basin before turning to me and taking my face into his hands.

"Quite the gash she managed to leave... just a little higher and you might've have gone blind, my Countess," Rodric said softly, moving my face around to analyze the wound better. "I'm pleased that Grell made quick work of her."

At this I pulled my face back and took a step back, scowling. "You have no place to speak, Rodric. I wouldn't have gotten hurt if you had been doing your job properly."

What was I feeling? Pity? Remorse? Grief? For what, the death of Madame Red? I hadn't even known her, much less cared for her. The one who should be feeling this type of sadness should be Ciel Phantomhive, yet he seemed completely untroubled. He certainly was an odd boy, and to put my life on the line for him was bothering me more than I'd prefer. When Rodric spoke so ill of her, I couldn't help but feel a type of sorrow, despite the injury she had inflicted on my cheek. How was Ciel actually feeling? About how someone who he had only met once before putting their life at risk for him? About his beloved aunt, dying at the hands of a reaper for not being strong enough to kill him herself... He could certainly put on an impressive façade, but during those moments in the alley when Madame Red was in a rage, I could see it. The pain and anguish of not having a choice but to follow through with the Queen's orders. He was strong. But maybe not quite as strong as he thought he was.

"My sincerest apologies, my Mistress," Rodric said, making me blink and stop thinking about the feelings of the Earl, "Please, allow me to help you out of that damp dress."

My exhaustion made me even less helpful than usual as Rodric changed me into my nightgown. It was my favorite one to wear. Yuki had brought it from Japan and had it saved for a special occasion only to end up giving to me as a gift. It was extremely lovely, and the material was made of the finest silk, giving it a pearly tinge. The sleeves cuffed around my wrists, and the hem of the dress was rather intricately detailed with lace. The front had three buttons, but my favorite detail the nightgown had was that it was a random gift from Yuki, not something that had to be given to me such as a birthday or Christmas present. It made me smile softly at the memory.

"Goodnight, my Countess." Rodric said once I was comfortably in bed, "We shall take our leave in the morning."

By the time the door once again clicked shut, all sense of comfort had vacated my body and left me with a sense of uneasiness. I lost track of time as I stared up at the wooden canopy, my finger trailing up and down the stitched wound. There was only one thing that could satisfy my restlessness. It was certainly not difficult to find my way around the townhouse. The only other room on the second floor beside the drawing room was to my left, and as I quietly made my way towards it, the faint glow of the soft light shone from the bottom of the door.

"Ciel...?" I whispered, cracking the door open slowly. "Ciel, are you--"

"I'm awake."

I hesitantly stepped inside, closing the door behind me and leaning against it, not daring to look up at him even though stepping inside had been my plan initially.

"You didn't possibly think I would be asleep after what happened, did you?"

"Obviously not." I snapped, finally looking up at him. He wasn't wearing his eyepatch, and I suspected it was because there wasn't a reason to anymore since I knew his dark and precious secret. "I couldn't sleep either."

"It's funny, isn't it," Ciel said, not really speaking to me in particular, "How quickly someone can just be murdered."

I nodded nevertheless but stayed quiet, walking over to him. He was sitting on the bed with his legs hugged to his chest, and he continued on, his eyes focused in front of him.

"I suspected her from the beginning, but I took my time to avoid looking into her further. How could I have known that she lost her child, along with the ability to conceive one...? She always was so cheerful and positive... I was too young to see her during her most depressed times and too absorbed in my own obsessions to realize she was actually still so troubled on the inside...

"She said I was like her son. She said that I reminded her of her sister. I don't completely regret preventing her death, after all, she was only my pawn. But maybe if she had stepped out of the way, or maybe if I had played the game differently, she would have lived longer... long enough for me to tell her that I..."

His voice trailed off and I climbed onto the bed, ready to continue hearing what he had to say. Yuki always had told me that bottling feelings never ended in a better outcome, but Ciel seemed to be struggling to speak his mind.

"This wasn't your fault, you know that, don't you, Ciel?"

I lifted my hand to place it on his shoulder when he abruptly slapped it away, his head snapping up to face me. He was angry, and I got the blurry vision of Madame Red's exact expression of frustration.

"Why are you even here? Nobody asked you to stay and listen."

"Well, it's not like your butler is going to help you feel better." I scoffed, clenching my fist. "Your aunt just died. She was murdered, something one of us would have had to do if not Grell since she was losing her fight. Don't you want a bit of comfort? Even if it may be from someone you've just only met?"

"You're nothing but another player, I don't need your sympathy, and I don't need your pity. It's not what I asked for, nor what I need." Ciel snapped, his eyes flitting to my hand before looking away with a deep frown. "You can just go. Go to bed and then leave."

My curiosity never really led me to a positive result, but it did always end up satisfied. Ciel missed Madame Red, but he felt as though what happened needed to be left in the past and no longer dwelled in. He was strong. But maybe not quite as strong as he thinks he is. I nodded and bowed my head slowly, standing back up from the bed and heading to the door. My hand began to turn the doorknob when I paused to sigh and look back at him, offering a small smile. He looked back up and seemed taken aback at my reaction, making my smile grow a bit more.

"Goodnight Ciel, I'll see you at the funeral."

A demon wouldn't be able to provide emotional support, and neither could someone he just met. That wouldn't stop me however from learning what made Ciel Phantomhive tick even through this bloodshed. Curiosity killed the cat, but no one really stopped it, did they? 

 -

...My Countess orders, I obey; Anyone who dares interfere, will have Hell to pay...